Chapter 47

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So, I feel like this part could have been stronger. For that I am sorry. I am definitely more of an action scene based writer than a emotional scene based writer. I am still improving. Also, I completely rewrote this chapter at 1 in the morning. I felt like you all weren't enjoying this part of the story, so I decided to speed up the posting a bit. I'm very nervous for this part. Despite this, I'd like to thank you all for showing the love you have for this story. I hope I can make the rest of the story more enjoyable.

Thoughts

Dreams

*Rai-Lin*

I was still exhausted when we returned to school. It seemed that using Dark Weapon again after so long had taken more out of me than I cared to admit. I was slumped over in my chair, my head laying on my desk. Raizel was staring out the window, though he occasionally shot me concerned glances.

Raizel and I still hadn't talked about what had happened in Lukedonia. In fact, we hadn't really talked at all. If there was one thing we both were, it was stubborn, and it was putting the entire household on edge. Everyone was walking on eggshells, myself included. We were all afraid of saying the wrong thing, resulting in Raizel going off. Despite this, I knew we both still loved each other.

It was evident in those concerned glances Raizel sent me. It was evident in the way Frankie had been hovering over me by what he told me was Raizel's orders. It was evident in the way I kept having nightmares because he wasn't in the bed, not that he knew about them. I made sure to keep my mind blocked off from him because I was afraid of thinking something that would upset him. I missed him, but I also didn't know how to approach the situation. Raizel had never yelled before, and I didn't know how much space to give him.

I was dozing when I heard Shinwu yell, "They're here! Seira! Regis! Rai! Lin!" I jerked up, falling out of my seat. It was the first ungraceful thing I had really done in front of the children. They stared at me in shock as I pulled myself into a sitting position.

I rubbed my head ruefully from where I had hit it. "You all are so loud."

"Lin, I'm so sorry," Shinwu apologized, a blush coating his cheeks.

A strong hand reached down to me. It was a hand I knew well. I followed it up to the eyes of my love. There was a rare smirk on his face, but his eyes were still unreadable to me. "Don't you smirk at me," I muttered halfheartedly.

I sat back down in my chair and placed my cheek against the cool desk. "Hey, Lin, are you okay?" Yuna's face came into my view.

I waved a hand lazily. "Yeah. I just pulled a late night. I'll be fine."

Yuna smiled sympathetically. "I understand. I'll make sure Shinwu is quiet."

"Thanks, Yuna." I closed my eyes. A hand began to rub my back. It was to that soothing motion that I fell asleep.

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I was back in Lukedonia, back fighting Rael. I felt the pain as his blades slid across my chest to test my resolve not to fight him. I waited for Frankie's power to sweep him back as he went for the killing blow. Frankie never came. Instead, Gradia sliced into my throat deep enough to cut the bone. I fell to my knees, drowning in my own blood. Then, everything was gone.

Raizel appeared in front of me, his face contorted as he howled. Every note in the howl echoed with grief. I looked for the source of his grief, blinking as my body appeared in his arms. He rocked me like a small child, screaming incomprehensible words. Tears of blood coursed down his cheeks. Then, he buried his face in my chest as through looking for a heartbeat. I caught one word before the world went dark. "Please."

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I sat up with a small scream. Disoriented, I pulled my knees up to my chest and sobbed. My poor Raizel. What had I done? My power began to swirl around me. I was selfish, so selfish. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't-

"Rai-Lin!" It was his voice, but I couldn't see him. I was still stuck in my nightmare. His voice was mixed with his scream. "Rai-Lin, my love, you are not there. You are in Frankenstein's office. I carried you here after you fell asleep in class. It was all just a nightmare."

"But it wasn't," I sobbed. "It was what would have happened if you all hadn't saved me. I was stupid. I never wanted you to feel the pain I felt losing you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Raizel's arms went around me in a comforting embrace. I clung to him like a child as he stroked my hair. "I know. I know you are. I should have come to you sooner. As much as you tried to hide your mind from me, I always knew when you were having nightmares. I thought they would get better if I stayed away, instead of instigating a conversation that would bring up more bad memories. I should have known they would only get worse."

"I'm sorry," I repeated, slowly calming down. I focused on his fingers running through my hair until my breathing returned to a normal pace and I could function. I looked up into his eyes, and I could finally read them again. They spoke of pain, fear, and no small amount of love. "I should have talked with you from the start, instead of acting like a child."

He hummed. "We both could have been more mature."

I untangled myself from him and sat across the couch, so we could have a real conversation. "I should not have allowed my emotions to cloud my judgement as much as they did. After being alone so long, I learned to not particularly care what happened to me. They only thing that kept me alive, that kept me going, was that I had to find you. The pain I went through physically was nothing compared to what I went through mentally. My mental state still suffers to this day. I've been happy since you were found, but fighting Rael was too much for me. I would do anything and everything in my power to protect him. I can still remember the time Rael, Lazark, you, and me all colored together in the mansion like it was yesterday. I know you do as well. They were practically our kids. I was exhausted, Raizel, but I still should have fought. I understand that now. I fought for 820 years, and I will continue to fight. After all, that fight led me back to you."

Raizel reached out and stroked my face. "You are so strong, Rai-Lin, stronger than I could ever be. I don't blame you for wanting to protect Rael. Despite what he did to you, I still love him as well. I was just so scared, scared I would lose you, my love. I want you to promise me that you will continue to fight, and should you ever need my help, you will come to me."

I leaned forward and lightly brushed my lips against his. "I promise."

He pulled me to him, kissing me more passionately. "I missed you."

"And I you."

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