Heaven Knows

Forty Six

Tyler stays silent at my silly craving and then looks back at my belly. He gives it a smirk and says, "You are one interesting person. I'll get it for you right now."

"She is sleeping. Do not wake her up."

Tyler ignores me as he continues to tenderly hold my belly and give it soft kisses. Despite of my heart flying at his gestures, my stomach insists on crotons and I push him away. He gets the message and I watch him put on a sweater.

I should've gone. He's too weak.

But he still gives me a smile and a wink before walking out. I don't feel so sorry anymore as I happily take the large bag of Crotons.

"Oh my god, Tyler. You are a hero."

"No no," he playfully says. "I'm a cowboy."

I giggle as he lies by my side and I give his lips a sweet kiss. "My handsome cowboy..."

Tyler closes his eyes as I start to munch and he furrows his brows. I then realize the amount of noise I'm making.

"I'm sorry. I'll go to the living room if you wa-"

"No. It's okay." Tyler rubs his eyes and gives me a tired smile. He then scoots closer to my belly and puts a warm hand on it. He seems to search for her but she's been very quiet.

"Is she asleep?"

"Can I blame her? She's a lot like you."

"What? But you're the sleepyhead!"

"No, I'm not! You would always fall asleep whenever I'd tell you about my day."

"Tours were very tiring. But chemo is much more..."

My heart shrinks and I run my fingers through his messy hair. It's been falling out slowly but I don't say anything. He seems to be ignoring it himself. He still looks handsome with or without hair.

"Has my father sent anything this week?"

"He has," I softly say. "He sends something every week."

He's silent but I can tell it's a sad silence as he says, "Do you think I'm useless?"

"No! Who told you that?"

Tyler does a sad sigh and says, "Sometimes...I feel like I'm not doing enough for you and the baby. I appreciate everyone that has been helping out but...I wish—"

"Hey." I gently lift his head from his chin so he can see my smile. "You are enough. As long as I come home and see your smile, that's enough for me to go on." I put my hand on his where it is on my belly and whisper, "For us."

Tyler returns my smile and goes back to giving my belly a warm hug. "I hope she knows that I love her more than anything. I'm fighting for her."

"She knows that. I know she does. She jumps every time she hears your voice. Oh! At church, she dances when she hears the music. I think she's gonna be just like you."

Tyler's eyes shine at this and chuckles. "I can't wait to see her. Do you think she'll like me?"

"She loves you already."

Tyler gives my forehead a kiss as I put my crotons to the side and lay back. I decide to get on my right side just to give my back a break from being on my left and look into his brown eyes. His hand still stays on my belly as he gently lifts my shirt. His warm skin sends shivers down my spine and she awakens at his touch.

Tyler smiles at her soft kicks and says, "There she is."

"I told you. You're her favorite."

Tyler smiles and closes his eyes with me as we quietly feel her move. I then hear him say, "What was your dad like?"