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Chapter 7: All Good Things...

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Chapter 7 All Good Things...

"Ahh!"

I bash in a car window with a pipe I found a minute ago on the ground at the junk yard.

"Bastard."

I take another swing.

"I hate you."

Swing.

"Why...won't...you...die already?"

Swing.

"Gah. Just hurry up and die."

I move on to another car and bat at it with more violent rage.

"You want to take my money. My money!"

Swing.

"I don't think so."

I trip over a fallen car part but quickly reset myself and take another rage-fill swing at the car. I am piss to the fullest extent and taking my anger and frustration out on these cars is all I can think of doing to sooth myself. Although, I am probably not really thinking because I am blind with rage. 

"Ahh. I...hate...you."

A few tears begin to teeter down my face. I make an attempt to slow them down by trying to withdraw my emotions, but doing so overwhelms me even more.

"Why can't everything be fine for me? Why do I have to go through this crap?"

I wipe the tears from my face and continue swinging away but slowing down.

"What did I do, huh? What did I do? Was I not good enough?"

I throw the pipe on the ground and ball up my fist. I curl in my lips and fight back the tears streaming from my face and whisper, "I can not do this anymore."

Then I pick up the pipe once more and yell to no one as I swing at another window, "This is all your fault."

Swing.

"You did this to me. You left me. You left me alone with that maniac."

As I am shouting I take more frequent violent swing at every car, van jeep window I can hit in this place.

"I hate you too mom. You took your own life for...your...own...selfish reasons. Stupid. My life is hell because of you. Because you wanted to escape."

At this point, I am fully exhausted from exerting so much rage on the cars I cannot hold on to anything and barley can stand. The pipe falls out of my shaking and bloody hands as I take a seat inside on of the cars' whose door is open. I do not sit all the way inside the vehicle so I stare into the seemingly baby blue sky.

My body relaxes and I become calm. I wipe away the evidence of the real feelings I have towards my parents, take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"You should have taken me with you, mom. I want to be with you."

After some time has pass I find myself waking up to a dark sky and a cold night. I realize I dozed off to avoid thinking anymore about the pain I am feeling. What a wuss I thought to myself. How can I have let myself lose control of my emotions like that. That is stupid, careless, and dangerous. I have to always be on my guard and focus.