Indulgence ( PATIENCE #2)

8. Hate

Tessa

I was scared. I felt uneasy too. When Hardin mentioned a docter I didn't immidiately like the fact. . I didn't want another human species touching or examining me. I didn't want to feel naked anymore, even though I knew I shouldn't feel that in front of a docter. Docters are different. It was supposed to be professional and clinical.
Docters aren't supposed to make you uncomfortable. But in that moment I wasn't sure. I wasn't feeling it.

I guess Hardin didn't notice but I was at the verge of breaking down when he announced the docter was here. I had the urge to hide under the blankets. Or wrap myself around Hardin and beg him I didn't want to recount anything. I was going crazy inside. I was thrashing and flailing in a feeble attempt to not feel petrified.

But when Elena Rodriguez entered , I felt like a weight of hundred pounds beings put off of my shoulders. A female. Even her assistant was a female. Her not being the male kind was like a relief I didn't know I needed.

I was impressed that she even was fearless about Hardin's demeanor and shooed him out of the room. It was surprising really. Clearly, I was in dilemma. I was in between whether I wanted him to stay or leave. But he stared at me and left, deciding to not cross that boundary.

There, at that exact moment I wanted to hate Hardin once again for being so considerate. I couldn't. I wanted to hate him for arranging a female doctor, I couldn't. I wanted to hate him when he didn't throw a single tantrum and left the room to be decent. I couldn't.

But instead I hated my subconscious mind for letting the anger and hatred for him step a notch down. I hated myself for failing to hate him like I had previously planned.

Anyways now, Elena has only made me feel better. She reminded me of mom. Soft, gentle and kind. Yet very capable of bringing out information without making me uncomfortable. She made me feel a hundred times better. She didn't even ask me much details about the incident.  She just checked me up, slowly. Just asked, how I felt physically so she could treat me accordingly ... Her assistant drew a little blood to get it tested and patched up a little cut on my shoulders I didnot realize I had. My forehead grazes didn't need much clean up. She noticed it was already clean to precision.

See ? It's tough to continue my hatred. It's like I have to keep reminding myself, what he did three years back to keep on hating him.

We are almost done. And just when Elena is explaining me a little more about the pain medication and how she would urgently get the reports done, We  jump hearing an alarming crash from outside.

My eyes widen and I notice their's too. Elena looks at me perplexed I assume. Her brows knitting in curiosity.

" Whaat is happening outside?" She asks looking back and forth from the door to me.

I bite down on my lip, my eyes shutting close as I exhale. Even though I don't to want know what's going on, I think I do already. And that is all the more irritating. I don't want my assumptions to be correct but I know it is. As much as I hate myself for knowing it, I know that Hardin is probably throwing around stuff because he is agitated. He is either angry for not being allowed here, or tired of waiting outside or irritated because of the drama since last night. I myself feel like breaking something because I don't want to be able to read the sounds coming from the other room.

Ughhhh.

" Honey, if we leave... Are you going to be ok alone with him?"

My thoughts are cut and I snap open my eyes at her. " What?"

"I mean, from the sound, he seems in a rage... I have heard Mr. Scott isn't a very warm person." She says pausing.

Somehow, I don't like the sound of her implication.