hell above.

Chapter 12

I woke up and thanked the gods that I'd taken a headache tablet last night before I went to bed. Richie was probably feeling like shit this morning. I turned on my side watching Matt sleep peacefully. I was a little embarrassed showing him my room last night that had many of his posters on my walls. I smiled slightly, it was unbelievable that I was here laying in my bed with thee M.Shadows next to me. I was falling for him more and more each day and I couldn't help but wonder what was going to happen when we arrived back in California.

"Are you watching me sleep?" Matt asked groggy opening his eyes

"I am" I smiled softly

"What are you thinking about?" He asked touching my face softly with his forefinger

"What happens when we get back to California?" I sighed

Matt looked at me for a moment deep in thought, I wondered if that question was making him doubt everything.

"Well" He smiled pulling me in closer to him so that my body was pressed against his "I am going to take you on a date and then another and another after that until you agree to be my girlfriend." He smiled making me laugh slightly

"Oh yeah and then what?" I taunted

"Then I'm going to kiss you" He said rolling on top of me and planting a soft kiss on my lips "I'm going to kiss you here" He kissed my cheek "and here" He kissed my other cheek "Especially here" He smiled before kissing over my sweet spot and coming back up to my lips kissing me deeply, I kissed him back instantly my want for him taking over all my senses again. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling his shirt off quickly. It didn't take him long to do the same with mine. We continued until our clothes found its way onto the floor along with the blanket. We were both naked and wanting.

"Beck I don't know how long I can resist you for" Matt said breathless. I could feel his hardness at my entrance which drove me absolutely insane

"Then don't" I said softly brining my lips to his again kissing him with all of the hunger I had for him.

"Breakfast is ready" Richard said walking into the room "Oh god" He said standing at the door

"Get out!" I shouted throwing a pillow at him as he walked out closing the door.

Matt got off of me laughing which made me laugh as well, our moment completely ruined by my brother.

We got dressed quickly going into the kitchen with everyone sitting at the table, it was the most full I'd ever seen our kitchen table. Zack, Johnny and Brian looked like they'd just come back from the dead.

"Good morning" I smiled

"I'm sure it was" Richard smirked

"Shut up" I threw him a venomous look before smacking him over the head as Matt and I took our seats dishing from the food laid out on the table.

"You have a really nice ass for a man Matt" Richard said making my eyes pop out and everyone else laugh including Matt.

"Thank you, that's not all I was blessed with" Matt smirked making me roll my eyes. He wasn't lying.

"Can we not talk about dick at the breakfast table?" I asked blushing

"I was going to say my voice but since you mentioned it" Matt smiled making me blush deeper and everyone else laugh again

The day passed quickly and by the time show time came, to say I was a ball of nerves was an understatement. I stood backstage with Michael and Reeve watching Avenged Sevenfold finish their set. I peeked out at the crowed and saw my family along with Michael and Reeves sitting in an arear closed off just for them. There were too many fucking people here and I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I didn't often get stage freight but tonight I had it bad. I felt like I was going to throw up. I watched as Matt and the guys finished their last song. I couldn't do this.

"I can't go out there" I said quickly almost running to one of the dressing rooms backstage. My heart was racing a mile a minute, my palms were sweaty and my breathing came out shaky and uneven. I was having a full blown panic attack. I paced up and down the small room as my stomach tied in knots.

"Becca, open the door we need to go on" I heard Michael call from the other side.

"No I'm not doing it" I called back

"You can't not do it. You're the vocalist for crying out loud" He said annoyed

"Then cancel the show"

"Beck, it's Matt. Can I come in?" I heard Matt's voice

"Okay" I called back. He walked into the room his presence calming me slightly.

"What's going on?" He asked his eyes burying themselves deep into mine

"I can't do it." I said panicked "Did you see how many people are out there?"

"Beck, there were more people in London and you were fine" He took my hands in his to stop me from pacing.

"This is different, this is our home town" I sighed.

"Yeah and it's understandable to be nervous for that but you can't hide in here Beck." He took my face in his hands, his touch making my heart settle. "You are going to be fine, you're brilliant at what you do and all those people out there know it. That's why they're here. They couldn't give a fuck about us, they want you Beck"

I wasn't sure how this was supposed to make me feel better.

"You're going to go out there and you're going to kill it like you do every night because you're fucking Becca Summers and you're an amazing musician" Okay that did make me feel better "Okay?" He asked his eyes still glued to mine.

"Okay" I nodded.

"Good, now take a deep breath" He said breathing in with me "Go play your heart out" He smiled giving me a kiss and that was all the motivation I needed.