Guardian Hands [criminal minds]

2

To say he is nervous is an understatement, Spencer is on his arms, his badge clipped to his shirt, his stuff animal in his hand, his head laying on his shoulder when the elevator doors open and he walks towards the bullpen.

His first destination will be Hotch's office, no comment to the others just up there, getting the important stuff sorted and then back down.

He knows he will be judged.

In the beginning he was afraid of telling them, thinking they would just support what he already thinks, that he is not capable of raising a child.
Then it got later and later and eventually he felt terrible for not telling and somehow felt comfortable in the lie.

No one was ever allowed over at his house, he always had cleaned his car neatly after JJ had seen a children's book in there and he lied saying it's from a friend's kid.

A women opens the door for him when she sees that he has his hand full and he can immediately see Emily's eyes on him after JJ points him out sitting at her desk but he ignores them and proceeds to go up the stairs into Hotch's office and the normally so unfazed man is easy to read that he has no idea what's going on. "I am sorry for barging in here like this."

"No problem." Morgan closes the door behind him and walks further into the room, Spencer looking at the unit chief but not on his eyes and also not saying anything. "Is everything okay?"

"No" He hesitates for a moment and then puts Spencer's backpack on the chair in front of him and then reaches up to the stuff animal pulling slightly at it to uncover Spencer's face. "This is Spencer. My son. And last night his mom who works as a detektive got shot and is now in the hospital."

Morgan doesn't think he has ever seen Hotch at a loss for words until now.

"Mom" Spencer says looking at Morgan. "Mommy" He gets ignored while Hotch puzzles an answer together until he has one and stands up.

"I am sorry to hear that. You can take time off and be with her. You don't have to work."

"We are not together- Her family is there when she wakes up. I just - couldn't give him to school. I am sorry I brought him here."

"No problem but you really don't have to be here."

"I want to. I need to get my mind of things."

"Of course." Hotch steps forward from behind the desk approaching them. "Hey you" This man can keep a straight face when he sees someone getting decapitated in front of him but when there is a child  near him he will melt. "Nice to meet you who have you got there?"

"We brought Captain Tony" Morgan steps in when Spencer struggles to find words.

"Captain?"

"Don't judge, a giraffe can be a captain." Morgan tells him making Spencer laugh.

"Of course well I am Hotch" He holds his hand out for him but Spencer turns his head away laying back down on Morgan's shoulder.

"What do we say when we want to introduce us?" Instead of an answer he kicks Morgan's leg a couple of time and he let's him get away with it.

"Did anybody know?"

"No"

"Did you tell them already?"

"No"

"You want me to look over him while you do?"

"He won't stay with you"

"You will see" Hotch opens his arms to take Spencer.

"No, he- he has special needs. Believe me we don't need to push it."

"I am sorry." Spencer keeps kicking Morgan's leg repeatedly. "You want me to gather the team in the conference room? I was about to call in a meeting anyway."

"Yes please. I will need a minute with him."

"Take your time."

"Thank you" With Hotch leaving the office he starts walking up and down the room.

"Mommy"

"We will see Mommy later."

"Mommy"

"Mommy is gonna be okay." Morgan takes a deep breath,knowing very well that he can't promise that.

"Alright kid, we are gonna meet my friends now." He let's him down and Spencer puts his giraffe in Morgan's hand, his speech book in his own hand, the page to introduce himself already opened.

Morgan isn't sure if he is really oblivious to his father's fear over the next moments but if he is he doesn't show it.

He grabs the hand of his son tighter and walks into the filled room and for a moment there is absolute silence before Garcia can't hold back and gets up from her chair walking towards them. "Who are you sweet boy?" She asks in a high pitched voice and Spencer scoops closer to his father, so Morgan squats down and takes him between his legs, his body leaning against Morgan's chest as he fiddles with his speech book,looking up and down self-consciousness multiple times and then in a small voice reads what is written on the page.

"Hello, I am Spencer Field Morgan." He looks at Morgan for approval who kisses his cheek and then stands back up. "Hello, I am Spencer Field Morgan." Spencer says again when no one says anything and then again when he is repeatedly greeted with silence and no one says anything after the fourth he takes his fist and brings it up to his head starting to hit himself.

"Don't hey!" Morgan reaches down grabbing his wrist. "Don't hurt yourself"

"Hello, I am Spencer Field Morgan"

"I am Emily Prentiss." She steps in getting up from her seat and approaching him. "Its a pleasure to meet you."

"Emily is my friend." Morgan tells him having one hand on his shoulder. "Just like Tina is to you." It's actually sad that he has to name his nanny because he has a hard time making friends. It's not even that he is bullied, the kids in the program really try to integrate him but he isn't much of a fan. He rather wants to do things on his own.

Unsure what to do, Spencer hands her his speech book and then looks up to Morgan to ask if that was right.

"Don't you need that buddy?" He grabs it again and then Morgan picks him up walking over to the empty chair were he sits down with him in his lap, placing book and Captain Tony on the table but instead of paying attention to those things he reaches over to the file in front of Hotch who sits next to them. "What did I tell you this morning? No touching the files."