Drawn to His Flame

Kabanata 21

Puzzled

I stared blankly at Treyton who was casually leaning on the door frame. “Puwede bang huwag mo na akong pakialaman pa? You’re just obviously distracting me.” Pagkasabi ko no’n ay inanggulo ko palayo sa kanya ang upuan ko para hindi na siya mahagip ng paningin ko.

Narinig ko naman pagkatapos ang pinakawalan niyang malalim na buntong-hininga. “Can’t you take a constructive criticism? Pasalamat ka nga at tinutulungan pa kita,” he stated and I got irked because of the overflowing arrogance I could sense from his tone.

“I already followed what you told me to do! You just don’t want to acknowledge my progress!” sumbat ko naman sa kanya.

“Paano ka naman gagawin ‘yon kung wala naman talagang improvement?” sagot niya kaya padabog kong hinampas ang mesa.

Here’s what I get for asking him some advices on how to survive the oral defense for our thesis in Filipino. I don’t even remember where I got the guts to seek help from him in the first place but maybe the paranoia I got when I heard that our oral defense was rescheduled on an earlier date got the better of me.

Binalik ko na lang ang atensyon ko sa hawak kong hardcopy ng research paper namin pero nahihirapan akong magfocus doon dahil satsat pa rin ng satsat si Treyton. “I don’t sugarcoat but I apologize if I had offended you.”

I lifted a gaze at him because of that but I wished I didn’t because of what he said afterwards. “Pero parang robot ka talaga magsalita kanina.”

I don’t know if he wants to trigger me or something but I just won’t allow him to insult me further. “I’m pretty sure I don’t sound like one,” pagtatanggol ko sa sarili ko.

I saw his eyes flickered before his right hand fished his phone out of his pocket. “Good thing I have a recording. Gusto mo bang marinig?”

“I-delete mo ‘yan! Why would you even record what I was saying!” I exclaimed, my eyes still bulging because of bewilderment. Ang weird lang kasi no’n para sa ‘kin.

“I had this one just in case. Alam ko naman kasing hindi ka basta-bastang susunod sa akin. Now listen and see what I’m talking about.” Treyton played the recording so I had nothing left to do but do as he wish.

Napayuko na lang ako dahil hindi talaga ako sanay na pinapakinggan ang boses ko. But as I continued to listen, I noticed many things that I hadn’t before. Not to brag but my discussion was clean and perfect. But it was too perfect, making it unrealistic. And after some while, Treyton’s comments finally dawned on me. Now I know why he compared me to a robot. My tone while speaking was monotonous and my voice lacked the emotions it needed to properly convey the exact information to the listeners.

Akala ko talaga ay maayos na ang pinaggagawa ko. But it was all just in my head. I was too full of myself to even recognize my flaws.

“I believe that you now know what to work on more,” komento ni Treyton nang matapos na ang recording. I nodded without even trying to make eye contact because I was still embarrassed.

“You’re discussing the second chapter of your research paper and it’s the part considered to be the most boring so you really have to practice speaking with emotions to bring zest to your presentation. And most of all, explain topics and concepts based on what you have learned and understood and not on what you had remembered and memorized.”

“Salamat,” mahina kong sambit. Tinatak ko na rin sa isipan ko ang lahat ng sinabi ni Treyton.

“You still have a few days so don’t pressure yourself. You’re already good. Your skills just need a little bit of polishing and you’ll be a natural in no time.” My heart fluttered because of how sincere Treyton’s compliments were.