Forever With You ~ Tubbo x Reader

~Chapter Forty Eight~

I kept going. It hurt. I knew I should stop. But I didn't want to. I didn't even realize I was crying until George took my phone. "y/n!" He said. He grabbed my phone and pulled as hard as he could, getting it out of my hands. "I said your name so many times. You- no, no, no!" George said.

I stared up at him. I looked at the face that so many people loved. The brown hair swept to one side, the concerned, brown eyes. George, my amazing, stupid, idiotic, wonderful brother. He met my gaze, which felt empty. I could feel each message bounce around in my brain. I could feel my tears dripping on to my shirt.

I remember George talking to me, and me nodding or shaking my head, but my world spun out of control. I remembered random points from my childhood. I remembered spending days with Jessie and James. I remembered getting bullied in school, but using humor as defense. I remembered Christmas with Mom and George. I remembered recent things. Like when I had tried to do things to myself, that I never should have done. And people were telling me to do these things.

My most clear memory entered my head. "I love you, sweetheart." Mom whispered. I hugged her, then hugged George. How old was I at that age, maybe 12? 14? George had flown in because I wasn't doing well. I was at the doctors office, trying to see why I had been feeling emotionless, like I was full of the void.

"Well, y/n. With all of my concerns, I believe that you have anxiety. Possibly also depression. You aren't unfixable, there are ways to pull you out. Stay around people you love. No matter what happens, just remember that people care for you." The nice doctors voice had said.

I snapped back to the present, and looked at George. "I-" I stared, my voice hollow. "I love you, y/n. Okay? Don't forget that." George said. He stared at me, as if he could figure out what was wrong and heal me. "I know. I love you too." I replied. We did a bit of an awkward sibling hug, and then I ran into the bathroom.

I stared myself in the face, and burst into tears again. I put my hood on my head, trying to ignore everything. As hard as it was, you can't ignore your own brain. I sat in the bathroom, trying to think happy.

After a while, I heard someone knock on the door. I stayed silent, and waited until they knocked again. "Hello?" The muffled voice asked. I didn't make a sound. "George said you were in here. I hope you're okay, y/n." The voice said. "Hey, it's me, TherapistInnit, here to help!" Tommy said.

I slowly got up and unlocked the door. I opened the door, and stared at Tommy. "Hey, woman!" He laughed. He looked at me, and his face washed with concern. "Are you alright?" He asked. I shook my head. If I tried to talk, I probably would have cried immediately.

"Sometimes I wished I didn't exist at all." I said, staring at the ground. Tommy still looked at me. "I know. Believe me, I know, y/n." Tommy said quietly. The two of us sat there silently, until Tommy spoke again. "Do you want to go and be with Tubbo?" Tommy asked. "Hey, I don't need anyone to solve my problems, and no man can do that for me." I said, trying to keep lighthearted, though the humor didn't make me feel better. Tommy raised his eyebrows. "yes, please. take me to Tubbo." I muttered.

Tommy laughed quietly and took me back to where Drista, Sisnap, Tubbo, and Ranboo were. I hopped over the couch, and curled up in a ball next to Tubbo. "You okay?" He asked quietly. "Yeah. Well, no actually. It's fine." I said, not fine. Tubbo stared at me for a moment, then slipped his hand into mine. "I'm here with you, okay? We're together. You aren't alone." Tubbo said quietly. I slowly nodded, and drifted off into sleep.

"Did you tell her? Or him? Or either of them?" I heard someone ask. "No, didn't want to wake them up." Someone else replied. "We can't leave them! They'd kill us! They would want to come." The first one argued. "Alright, fine. If you get any injuries from trying to wake them, it's not my fault." The other said in defeat. I felt someone gently shake me.