The Stars Aligned

Chapter 23

September 3, 1996

I needed air. I needed to see the stars, to be comforted by their otherworldliness, to remind myself how small and insignificant I am in proportion to the universe. To remind myself that all these little things don't matter in the big scheme of the galaxy, even though I feel as if my emotions could tear down the world.

When I opened the door at the top of the Astronomy Tower, he was there, sitting with his back towards me, head tilted as he gazed out across the horizon.

He said nothing when I sat next to him, swinging my legs over the edge. The sun was melting, a broken yolk running across the edge of the world. "You pushed me away," I said, keeping my eyes on the sky. "You all did. Why."

"I just... I can't."

I turned to him. "You can't what?"

Draco made a small noise, still not meeting my eyes. "I can't tell you any of it."

A bitter laugh burst out of me, and I shook my head, turning back to the view. "It's funny, all four of you pushed me away, and yet you're the person I care the most about doing it."

"You'll hate me."

I stared at the boy who bled for me. "I could never hate you."

He scoffed. "You hated me before, when we were kids. What's to stop you from doing so again?"

"I didn't hate you, Draco. I just didn't know you."

His knuckles were white, gripping the edge of the tower. Still, he wouldn't look at me. "You still don't know me."

I rotated to face him completely, my eyes stinging. "Do you know how absolutely pathetic I felt this summer? I wrote to you every single day, and every single day I fumbled through all the mail, looking for letters from you that never came, even though you promised me—"

"Eighty three."

"What?"

Draco finally looked at me, grey and piercing. "Eighty three days in the summer." His voice was low and scraping. "Eighty three letters you sent me. Eighty three letters I wrote to you."

My lungs stopped working, and I just stared and stared. "I kept my promise, Granger." He grabbed my chin, lifting it slightly to level my eyes with his.  "I did write to you. Every day."

A shiver shot through me. His cheekbones were more prominent than before, making his face sharper. "I read all of your letters," He continued, throat bobbing. "Each one."

When still no words surfaced, he released a sigh, pulling his bag toward him. After a moment, he took out a bundle of letters, all tied together with a string. Draco placed the stack on my lap. The top one was addressed: Hermione Jean Granger. I don't remember ever telling him my middle name.

I ran my fingers across the envelopes, counting quickly. Eighty three. My voice finally started working. "Why didn't you send these?"

"I didn't want to worry you." Crushed.

"With what?"

His eyes were on the sky now, on the fading oranges and rising blacks.

My tone was firm. "Draco."

He shook his head adamantly, hanging his head. "Granger, I can't."

"Yes, you can." I tugged at his shoulder, pleading. "I promise I will not hate you. I could never. I..." I bit the inside of my cheek. "I care about you too much."