Lone Werewolf Duology (bxb)

3. Not Nothing

People only choked on their words in rubbish TV shows, right? Or so Volya had thought, until he legit coughed the next word letter by letter around the constriction in his throat.

"Wh-a-t?"

At the same time, an extra-valve opened in his heart, pumping him full of oxygen, because Toshka called him attractive. Maybe in a round-about way, but whenever Toshka said something like that, Volya couldn't help hoping that everything was possible.

"It's all that is important in show-biz with the mixing software and stuff," Toshka told him with an air of authority. "Once Liam's fans spot these high cheekbones, they'll check us out too, and we'll make it. Now, I know you're proud as Hell, but can you please, please go back and tell Liam that you accept?"

The valve shut after a few mad heartbeats. Toshka meant he was attractive to Liam's fans. Basically, to girls. "You... you want me to leave?"

"For an internship with Buzzkill? You bet!"

Maybe he should have stopped, but words wanted to get out so badly, that he let them. "It was always supposed to be us leaving this effing place, Toshka. Us, together."

"Vol'—"

He wasn't reading manic happiness that Toshka usually put on to mask his true feelings.

"Vol', just don't be a dick, don't forget to mention us, mere mortals, once you're trending. We'll bask in your reflected glory. Am I right? Right?"

Toshka whipped his hand up, and Volya gave him a half-hearted high-five. Maybe he should squeeze his teeth together, shut up and go abase himself before Anders with apologies. Or promise Toshka he'd be back, but why bother with promises? He wasn't wanted.

"I just thought you'd be upset about me leaving," he muttered.

"I am! And I'll miss you. But it's your golden ticket. Things like that, they usually don't happen to guys like us. You have to take it."

Volya's heart bobbed in his chest like a float when a fish took the bait. Okay, maybe it wasn't hopeless. Maybe he was being childish, breaking into sweat over nothing. It was just Toshka's obsession with the band talking, not some personal signaling. "I swear to mention you every chance I get."

"Now you're talking!" Toshka gave him a thumbs up.

"If I get a toehold, I'm coming back for you. And if I don't, well, I'm still coming back. If I have to crawl, I'm coming back."

Toshka checked over his shoulder and wrapped Volya in a hug. "I believe you, but you don't have to, honestly. I'll be alright."

"What about the Bruiser?"

Toshka waved his hand as if the Bruiser was a fly to be swatted away. "I'll handle him. He's dumb, and we'll be famous."

Maybe Toshka could handle the Bruiser and the rest of it in his own way when Volya wasn't around. Maybe he was even looking forward to it. Volya swallowed hard, tasting the mustiness of the room as if for the first time.

Did Toshka even need him? Ever needed him?

From the first day they had met, when Volya stepped in because he just couldn't stand someone picking on a kid with fractured blue eyes? Did Toshka want him to step in back then?

Toshka smiled into the pause. "So, Vol', no worries. If you get away, stay away, for God's sake. There's nothing to come back for."

"Not nothing," Volya muttered. "Not nothing! I'll come back for you. Heck, I'll adopt you, if that's what it takes."