Confessions

We Have To Stop Doing This

Chapter nine

When I get to the bedroom Gunner is in bed looking at the ceiling "babe? You like Anthony don't you" he blankly asked me I look at him "Babe, as a friend, I mean i don't know why are you asking me this?" I asked him unbuttoning his shirt he throws me his own shirt I smile "I don't know, I see how you look at him" says Gunner "baby, I love you to death if he was the only man on earth i wouldn't like it" I said snuggling up to him he smiles "that makes me happy" says Gunner kissing me "i hope it does, and even if i did i would hate myself for it cause I'm dating a beautiful man" I said "and that would be me" says Gunner "indeed" I said shutting of the light.

~Dream~

"Hey, Hope i think it's time for us to end things" says Gunner I look at him with tears in my eyes "wha? Why? Everything we've been through after everything you've done for me why now?" I asked sobbing "I know, I'm sorry baby it's for the best Hope I hope you understand" he says reaching out for me i reject "I'm sorry that i couldn't be there for you when I needed you the most" I said through my tears "Goodbye Hope" says Gunner whipping his eyes "yeah, Goodbye my love" I said whipping my eyes and shutting the door. I get a text message from Anthony.

Anthony:I'm sorry about Entoan, Wanna talk about it?

Me: Please? That would help :')

Anthony: of course, wanna meet me at my place? You know the Frat house.

Me: On my way!

i turn down my phone and grab Fern's keys "I'll be back" I tell her "yeah, I will be here if you need anything" she tells me I nod and walk to the doors when I see Wade and Mark kissing I smile and walked out the doors to Fern's car and started it up. I'm surprised that I could remember where it was. I walked to his door and rang the doorbell "Hey Hope, I'm sorry" he says pulling in a hug I hugged him back crying "I'm sorry, I'm such a mess" I said sitting on the cough "you have nothing to be sorry about, you didn't do anything" he tells me handing me caramel green tea... My favorite "thanks" I said leaning on his shoulder "take your time, I'm here for you" says Anthony I weakly smile after a few moments I looked at him "you ready?" he says I nod "okay, go on and tell me"  he says "okay well i was writing in my journal and Entoan came in my dorm and told me he had stuff going on" I said through the unwanted tears. He whips them away I smile "he's a dick for breaking up with you after three months" says Anthony "yeah i know" i said.

After a few moments of talking about me and Gunner I told him that I liked him "You do?" he asked me I nod "I liked you since I saw you in that dress on your first time on campus" he says I smiled at him "But, I want sometime to get over him" I told him "and i respect that" says Anthony "and you can sleep here if you want" "thank you" I tell him "Any time" says Anthony. I looked at the ceiling letting my mind wonder of my thoughts of me and Gunner "oh and Hope?" asked Anthony "yeah?" I asked "you can sleep with me if you want" he tells me I look at him "Not like that, if you want to then tell me" smirks Anthony like Gunner did... "No, it's fine thanks" I said following him to his bedroom.

~End of dream~

I was awoken by Gunner shaking me "Hope baby" he says "yeah?" I said whipping my tears "you where having a nightmare" says Gunner pulling me to his chest "I was" I said "we can talk about it in the morning" Gunner tells me "yeah" I said thinking about Anthony and me in the same bed together... Would he do that in real life? Let me talk to him if me and Gunner ended things? I hope so... I think I look at a sleeping Gunner next to me "I love you" I whispered kissing his cheek i could see him smile. If he ever broke up with me i would die inside and I do like Anthony... Even though he hits on me constantly but i like it kinda... If Gunner  reads my personal journal I wouldn't have him in my life anymore. That terrifies me! I have to text Anthony in the morning and ask him something...