Breathing Blue

53. "Come on, pretty girl."

"Guys, please don't fight," I said quietly as they both whipped their heads in my direction.

"Havoc, I'm so sorry," Carlos apologized as I nodded.

"Yeah, I am too," I said as Cami crossed her arms over her chest.

"You can go, Carlos," She said as he nodded, disappointed by her words.

"Cami, please don't make my problems get in between the two of you," I sighed while she shot me a small smile.

"It's okay, Havoc. She has every right to be mad, so do you. I pulled a really shit move by not letting you guys know," He said while sliding his hands in his pockets as I nodded.

"I'll text you later," Cami said coldly before looking at the door as Carlos sighed and nodded, quickly making his way outside.
"I'm so mad at him," She muttered before plopping down at the couch as I did so too.

"I'm assuming you know what happened," I said quietly as she nodded and frowned.

"I'm so sorry, Havoc," She said before giving me a tight hug.

I stayed silent, having no energy left to speak.

"Classes start again in a few days, are you coming?" She asked as I shook my head no.

I had no idea of when I'd be ready to go back to classes and risk having to bump into Aaron or Claire.
I had lost both him and Elijah last night, leaving me close to empty.

"I understand," She smiled sadly.

"I'm moving to New York," I said quietly, more to myself than to Cami.

"What? When?" She asked in concern.

"For senior year, you've known about this," I said as she nodded.

"Yeah, I just... forgot," She sighed before biting her lip anxiously.

"Yeah," I muttered, staring emptily at the wall on the other side of the room.

"You're still not hungry? You haven't eaten since last night," Cami said while fiddling with her fingers.

I shook my head no, genuinely feeling anything and everything but hunger or thirst.

My mind felt as though it had shut down completely, this day and the next flying by in an endless cycle of crying and staring at whatever wall was in front of me.

I would wake up, my first thought being of Aaron.
How was he sleeping?

He didn't deserve my concern, after all he didn't feel anything for me, but my feelings for him couldn't simply fade away.

I missed the feeling of his warm breath against my skin and his soft voice saying my name.
After missing him and his touch I'd find myself loathing him. The mere thought of him made me furrow my brows in disgust wishing I had never met him.

I thought of Elijah too, and wondered how my childhood best friend could've helped Claire and Levi humiliate me in front of practically the whole student body.

My mind hopped from thought to thought, quickly going back to the cycle's starting point: the blue eyed boy with dark hair who I had fallen madly in love with.
—

"Are you sure you're okay?" Cami asked as I nodded before bringing the hoodie over my head as I grabbed my textbooks and headed outside.
A week had gone by since my birthday and my finding out of Aaron's true intentions.

Both he and Elijah had left me multiple calls and messages.
I deleted all of Aaron's, refusing to let him manipulate me any longer.
I eventually blocked his number, his complete absence from my life hurting me more than anything I could've possibly imagined.