Scarlet

16. Leaving

Kira couldn't walk for a while after that. Every day, in the morning and evening, Gouenji made her soak her legs in as hot water as she could bear and patted the badly hurt areas with a cloth soaked in it. In addition to that, he was at her constant beck and call. No matter where he was in the mansion at any given moment, he could easily hear the faintest of sounds from her and the next moment he was present in front of her.

"It's all my fault. " She found him mumbling to himself one night when she suddenly woke up. He had been sitting by her side making sure she was comfortable.

"It is not." Her interruption startled him.

"You heard that?" He said awkwardly and paused, "but it is my fault. You've known nothing but pain ever since you arrived at this mansion. "

"You've gone through a lot for my sake too so we're even. " She answered straightforwardly.

"But..." He was still agitated, "I shouldn't have been outside for so long, to begin with. I took a risk and you had to pay for my mistake. " He was utterly regretful, " What was I thinking trying to match a human! We're fundamentally different. No matter how much we try to force ourselves towards a common ground, we can't.

You will always be drawn to sunsets and warmth and I will always be hiding in the shadows." He looked down and sighed in defeat.

"And yet, I am your wife." Her quiet voice broke the silence.

He looked at her, caught off-guard by her reasoning.

"I have been traveling around the country for years and yet, when it was time, I ended up here somehow. " She sat up and rested her head on his shoulder, "And I am perfectly fine with that. You should be too. "

...

It took a better part of two months for Kira to heal and even after that she spent the remaining winter inside. She was strictly forbidden to go outside or let herself get cold.

"You don't care for yourself at all so you have left me no choice but to be firm with you." Gouenji told her when she sulked too much, "Now, you will sit here by the fireplace with me and finish your tea." He gestured as Mr Watanabe set the tea down on the small, round table set between the two big armchairs.

"Alright but as soon as the winter passes, I will go everywhere and in all the possible directions. I hate not being able to walk properly. " She answered.

Gouenji laughed every time she said so. Her adamance seemed so innocent to him. He thought she was saying that in jest and didn't pay any heed to it.

But as spring crept up slowly, chasing the snow away and bringing with it a multitude of different hues of new growth in the garden, Kira, who now had gained the ability to walk in its entirety, once again brought out her traveller's equipment, her maps and compass, her diary of notes about different towns she gathered from fellow travellers, and her sketch set.

Gouenji walked into her room, apprehensively looking around. All of her old belongings still were kept in the same room where she had initially begun living.

"What is going on?" He trailed off in confusion.

"As I've been saying, I want to travel again. These past few months have scared me too much. I need a taste of freedom again. " She answered, a hint of eagerness evident in her face.

"Are you not free here? You say as if I keep you here against your will. " Gouenji answered, a little taken aback by her way of putting things.

"Oh, that is certainly not what I meant. " She then stopped perusing through the map and turned to him, "I just want to travel, that is all. "

He didn't want her to leave, especially after everything that had happened during the winter but the glow on Kira's face as she talked about leaving the mansion was too evident to ignore. He could not talk her out of it; he knew that.

"Will you be careful?" He held her by her shoulders and asked gently.

"I will be. " She answered straightforwardly.

"Don't go to any mansions," He tried to lighten the mood, "even if it rains."

"There are some bad humans out there, " He said and then added, "and now you know, there are vampires too. Don't let them turn you. " He pulled her in a hug and whispered in her ear, "Only I get to turn you. " sending a shiver down her spine.

"Why are you telling me all of this now? I am not leaving until the day after tomorrow. " She spoke with a chuckle.

...

"How far will you go?" Gouenji asked on the last night before her departure.

"Far." She answered carelessly.

He was leaning against the headboard and she was leaning against his body, her eyes closed but she was far from asleep.

"When will you come back?" He asked again.

"I don't know. " She replied the same way again. She then realised she wasn't doing anything to ease his worries so she added, "But I will come back. I can promise you that. " She opened her eyes and smiled.

"Also, I'll write to you. "She added further.

"Write to me frequently. I am restless when you are away." He looked towards her with worry.

"Send me different letters this time. " She looked up at him, "don't send the same one over and over again. " She joked to ease his mood.

She eventually fell asleep after a while, but he didn't. He held her close and tried to reason with himself on how to pass the days that were about to be spent in her absence.

...

He joined her at the breakfast table and talked with her a little more. She barely answered because she was in a hurry or she would miss the early carriage.

After breakfast, she picked up her suitcase and was ready to leave. They met by the front door again as Gouenji prepared to speak to her one last time before a while.

"You've already said everything of value. " She said with a smile.

"I saved the most important one for last. " He said as he pulled her close and rested his forehead on hers, "I love you and I'll miss you. "

She had been taking all his words lightly up until that point but his straightforwardness shifted her mood too. She didn't respond with words but instead closed the gap between them in a deep, loving kiss.

When they broke apart, she drew in a deep breath, "I must not delay any more. " She remarked as she stepped away from his embrace.

She walked up to the door and then turned around. "Step back," she said to him and then she opened the door as little as possible and slipped out of it.

Gouenji rushed to the large windows by the fireplace. He could have seen her walk through the dirt road if it were evening. But since it was morning and that too, a spring one, he could not open the curtains and see her. He stood nearby for a few minutes, as long he assumed it must have taken her to get to the main road and get on the carriage, and then with a sigh he walked away from there. 

A/N: Do you think Kira did right by leaving?