•Jᴜsᴛ ʜᴏᴍɪᴇs? {𝕄ℂ𝕐𝕋 𝕗𝕒𝕟𝕗𝕚𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟}•

13

A/N:
Oh god this sucks I hope you understand what I wanted to do and what it looks like, it will be very awkward if you don't but I wouldn't blame you-

Warnings:

Mentions of sex and sexual thoughts, and after this the chapter will be smut alright I'm sorry now enjoy
Also yes DreamSMP reference in the beginning yes

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"Shit. I'm always so close. I've come to that point like 7 or 8 times now. I'm always so close to telling them, confessing to them, telling them how much I love and need them. I'm always there. But it never feels like the right time. It feels like stinging pain in my chest, like my airflow stops and my breathing cuts, stopping me from speaking, hell, even thinking. All I do then is just stare at their eyes as they wonder what the fuck I could tell them. I don't know what to do at this point, I can't hide this forever, I'm literally living with them" ,Wilbur wrote, letting out a defeated sigh as he sat up on the bed, his back meeting the cold wall behind him, as well as grabbing his diary with him, putting in in his lap as he continued to write.

"...I'm tired of thinking about them. I'm tired of seeing their eyes meet with mine without them telling me they love me. I'm tired of having their breaths cemented on my skin where they were breathing. I'm.. tired of moaning their names every time I touch myself. I want them to see me like that, then for them to touch me. I want them to fuck me so hard I forget my name, for them to fuck me hard and rough like a toy. To make me yell out how much I love them in pleasure as I get closer and closer, their dicks pounding into me while I'm not able to form words from all the pleasure I'm feeling as I cum on their stomachs. I want to hear their moans in my ear, feel their hot breaths on my neck and their lips on mine, kissing me. But the worst thing is, I want that now. I want them to say that they love me, how much they want me and adore me. That is what would really break me. That is what I'd give up my entire world for, right now. I probably shouldn't say this, I'll probably regret this later. But now? Now I want them, now I want all of them so much that the desire is hurting me. That damn desire that keeps me up at night, making me masturbate again and again, probably until I pass out from exhaustion."

Rereading this, Will thought if that was a good idea. They agreed to not hide stuff from eachother, both secrets and physically existing stuff, so everyone had access to everyone's room at any point in time. So if they find this.. He'd be screwed. He wanted to erase it, but quickly stopped himself, defeatedly scribbling more words in the notebook instead.

"Bloody hell, what am I even thinking about? I shouldn't be writing this. I mean, this diary is for me to 'talk to someone' about something I'm insecure about, but until now it was all harmless for me, just jokes, thoughts and past problems. Now tho, if they find this they'll probably think bad shit of me, for all I know kick me out and unfriend me.. Far from that they're homophobic or something but they're just too perfect, and I'll make them uncomfortable. I don't know what I wanna do, I don't want to give up hope for a relationship but I don't know where going forward and pushing will lead. I want their interests in me or anyone to be subtle before I do or tell them anything, I can't afford to lose such great friends like them."

Sigh

"For now, Wilbur Soot."
Closing the book, he threw it on the bed and got up. They were supposed to have dinner now or at least in a couple of minutes, so he got out of his room and slowly walked towards the kitchen. There, he saw everyone gathered around the table, Dream getting something out of the oven.

"Hey Will, you made it just in time! I was just about to call you here.", Dream said loudly, smiling as he placed the slightly burnt chicken on the table.

"Oh, sorry! I hope I didn't miss anything important?"
"Nope, but you should eat now while the chicken is still hot. I think I prepared it properly, I'm not sure tho."
"So we might get food poisoning?"
"What? No!... Actually maybe.."
"There we have it folks, Dream responsible for murder of 4 other streamers."