A Silence to Remember (manxman)

Chapter 19

Josh

Dominick and I had only been seeing each other for a month, but it seemed much longer than that. I'd grown accustomed to him and hated sleeping in a bed without him. His presence filled me with a comforting sense of security.

Crystal was staying at the house in Chatham, so Dominick and I commuted to our respective jobs, a one hour commute. A feeling of loneliness swept over me when I thought about being in my apartment without Dominick, so I chose to stay with him in Chatham instead. Maybe I was a clingy and needy boyfriend, so much so that Mario's behavior toward me was justified.

That was my mind playing tricks on me, an example of how Mario brainwashed me. If Dominick didn't want me with him, he would have told me so or he would have withdrawn in a way that indicated he wanted to be alone. He never gave off any of those signals. I confronted him just to make sure.

"Is it okay if I stay here?" I asked him as he busily wrote in his notebook. It was approaching midnight and we both needed to get to sleep if we wanted to get up on time for work. Dominick was so engrossed in his writing that he couldn't bear to stop. He lay naked on top of the covers with his notebook in his lap.

"Of course."

With September looming closer, I needed to start searching for an apartment. It was a three-hour drive from Provincetown to Salem, Massachusetts where I worked, so it was imperative that I found an apartment closer to the school. Returning to work terrified me because Mario knew where I worked, but I couldn't live in fear and isolation forever. My life had to go on.

I wondered if Dominick would choose to remain in Chatham or go home to Belmont with his parents. He loved Provincetown and enjoyed working as a deckhand, but that's not something he could do all year round. I wondered if he'd consider moving in with me. Dominick and I were good together.

I had more fun with Dominick than I'd ever had with anyone else. When Crystal was asleep, we spent time outside, fooling around in the pool.

Dominick always joked, claiming he was making up for all those months where he didn't have sex because he had no desire. He was making it up with me, not that I minded. He was a gentle lover... the best lover. As for him, he liked it hard and fast. I didn't mind giving it to him if that's what he wanted. He was the type who wouldn't mind being tied up or blindfolded. We hadn't gotten around to doing that yet. I refused to be blindfolded due to a bad experience with Mario. It's not something I wanted to relive again.

I straddled Dominick's lap as he sat on the pool stairs, nibbling on my neck. "Dominick, can I ask you something?"

He didn't respond, continuing to kiss my neck, running his hands down my back.

As much as I liked his lips on my neck, I pushed him away. "Dominick, what are you going to do come September?"

"I haven't thought about it," he said.

"What do you think about living with me?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. I want to wake up to you every morning even if you're grumpy."

"But I don't have a job. I can't pay rent."

"You'll get one. Please, Dominick, I want you to live with me. I'll take care of you if you get sick."

"I don't want you taking care of me," he said. "You don't want to get messed up with me."

"It's too late. I already am."

Dominick gave up on signing, making me concentrate on his lips, which was difficult to do at midnight in the dim light. I only got half of what he said. "I'm mentally sick," he said.