A LOST BEAR

Friday October 17th, 83 days before 18th birthday

"Thank you for coming with me." I whisper.

"Don't stress little bro, it was date night anyways, so Zhen is with Ma. Plus, I love hockey and Jing and I love you. Wins all around."

We're at the hockey game.

The stands are full of parents, teens and people from the city.

Somehow, we managed to get seats really close to the ice and the box for my school's team. Jing and Mags let me have the isle seat. So, I don't feel to overwhelmed by the crowd.

"You can go on your date after the game. Nuka said he'd drive me home."

"Well, that's nice of hi.... Who's Nuka?" Magnus's voice dropped almost an octave at the end of the sentence.

Is he going to get upset too?

I don't get it.

Why my brothers keep having this reaction to Nuka.

Maybe Jing will know.

"Jing? Why do all my brothers get mad at Nuka?"

Jing looked between Mags and me, one eyebrow slightly arched but his expression still blank and unreadable.

"Is Nuka on the team Iago? Is that why you wanted to come see the hockey game tonight?" Jing asks.

I nod.

He asked me to come but I could have said no.

I wanted to come.

But he didn't actually answer my question.

The players were getting on to the ice.

It was captivating to watch.

The way they glided across the surface.

I looked for Nuka.

Trying to find his last name among the players.

There.

There it is.

Black Feather.

He moves very smoothly for someone so big.

"So, which one is Nuka?"

"Number 12." I point him out as he moves over the ice, passing a puck back and forth with his teammates.

"Do you like him?"

Jing is asking a lot of questions.

Maybe he thinks I'll forget he hasn't actually answered mine.

That's a mistake.

I don't forget anything.

But Jing is nice.

So, I nod, "He's my friend."

"A friend?"

What else would he be?

This is starting to upset me.

I don't get mad easily.

But the way my brothers are reacting to Nuka makes me mad.

I don't know what Jing is insinuating but I don't like it.

Nuka is nice to me.

He's only ever been nice to me.

"Yes, my friend. Why is that so hard for everyone to believe? Is it so hard to believe he could be my friend? Is there something so wrong with me that I can't be Nuka's friend?"

I'm practically growling at the end of my quiet rant.

Magnus and Jing reel back from me.

They looked startled.

Maybe that was too far.

I never talk that much.

At least not all at once.

They are quiet now.

So, I watch the ice.

The way the skates cut looping, random designs into the smooth glossy surface.

My eyes find Nuka again.

He's looking at me.

He skates over to his team's box and talks to one of the team managers, his eyes flicking up me again.

We're sitting close to the ice so I can see a slight smirk on his face as he goes back to his team.

I think Jing and Magnus notice but if they did, they don't say anything.

Good.

I'm tired of my family acting like it's impossible for Nuka to be nice to me or be my friend.

The players have finished warming up and go back to their boxes when someone taps my shoulder and says my name.

It's the manager Nuka was talking to.

"Iago, right? Nuka said I have to give this to you and tell you to wear it."

He's smiling like he knows something I don't as he hands me what looks like a hockey jersey.

"Wha...?"

I didn't even see him move, he's just gone.

Slowly I unfold the jersey.

It's clearly a team jersey.

It looks just like the ones the players are wearing.

It's mostly black but with bright stripes around the elbows and waist that look like tie-dye.

On the front is the team name.

But it's the back that has me pausing.

Fuck.

My face is heating up.

And the tips of my ears.

And my neck.

FUCK.

In big letters is the number 12.

And a name.

Black Feather.

It's his jersey.

I don't want to look at my brother.

I'm sure he'll tease me about this.

I'm not sure what to do.

He said to wear it.

That's not weird.

Right?

He must have noticed I don't have any school themed items on.

So, he gave me his jersey to wear so I wouldn't stand out.

He's doing what any friend would do.

Right?

I don't know why else he would do this.

I slowly pull the jersey over my hoodie, avoiding eye contact with Mags and Jing.

But I can feel their eyes on me.

It feels like everyone is looking at me.

Fuck.

Why does it feel like everyone is looking at me?

FUCK.

I go to take the jersey off but then I spot Nuka.

He is watching me, a smile on his face and a part of me knows that his smile is because I put on the jersey.

I'm blushing again.