The Burn of Lust | (on hold)

05

I wish things were different. I wish my marriage wasn't a contract and the man I married was anyone but Riccardo. Instead, I was dreading the very thing I had always wanted to love-getting married.

I wanted to love the beautiful white wedding dress, but with all of my might, I loathed it. It wasn't going to be something I hung up in my closet and looked at for memories. It was something I wanted to burn as mascara ran down my cheeks, staining a trail of forced vows and fake smiles.

"Thank you." Charlotte smiled. "There is a makeup and hair crew coming in to get you looking fabulous! I can't wait for you to see everything that was picked out."

"Picked out? By whom?" I asked, recalling the day when I failed to choose what I wanted for the wedding.

There was no way she could have been able to put together a wedding with the vague answers I gave her.

"I forgot his name, but he said he was a friend of yours," she answered.

My brows furrowed. A friend of mine?

I didn't have any friends. The only friends I ever made were the ones who either used me or stabbed me in the back. They were always set up by my father to get information of me like I was some enemy he was aiming to know about. He took the one thing I was desperate for, and used it against me only because I just wanted someone to talk to about the things that hurt me most.

Not having any real friends was a sacrifice a person makes when they are born into the mafia. I was homeschooled my entire life, only making friends when it was beneficial to my father.

"Are you sure it was a friend of mine and not one of Riccardo's friends?" I questioned.

She looked off in the distance as if she were thinking about it before slowly nodding her head.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure he said he was your friend. Anyways, he picked out your dress, your food, the cake, the decorations, everything. It's so beautiful and I just have a feeling that once you see it, it will change your mind about this entire wedding," she said. I highly doubted I would change my mind about anything.

However, there was one question still left on my mind... Who would do that?

I hummed, not really sure what to say. I wish she was able to remember his name so I could piece together who exactly the person was.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door that echoed through the room. My heart always sank when there was knocking on my door. The only people that bothered me were Riccardo, and oftentimes, Lorenzo.

The woman smiled happily as if she already knew who was standing behind the door. She practically skipped over to the door and pulled it open. I peeked over to see that it was about three people-a man and two women-who stepped into the room. They were carrying all kinds of makeup and hair equipment.

"Is this the beautiful bride-to-be?" the man asked, smiling brightly. I didn't need the reminder of what was about to happen today, but I was almost positive he wasn't aware that I was being forced to marry an egotistical asshole.

"She is!" Charlotte chirped, clasping her hands together.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I settled for a forced smile as I walked over to the man and two women. I held out my hand for each to shake which they did.

"Okay, let's get started," a woman spoke.

They wasted no time in grabbing me and practically dragging me to an empty chair that I had sitting in my room for when Emily came by to do my hair and makeup.

"Hair up or down?" the man asked.

I shrugged my shoulders, not because I was being stubborn, only because I really didn't know. Sometimes, I liked having my hair down but other times I did not. It all depended on what I wore.

"Let's go with down. You have really pretty red hair that is just making me..." he gasped dramatically. "Fall in love!"

"Thank you," I said, chuckling.

"We are going to make you irresistible," he said.

I forced another smile on my face. I wanted to be resistible. I wanted Riccardo to just leave me alone and let me be happy. I wanted no one in my life to control me anymore. It began with my father and now it will be my husband.

I didn't want to get married.

-

Hours passed until they were finally done with my hair and makeup. I looked almost completely different. My hair was flowing down in big bouncy curls, similar to the hairstyle I had at the ball. My makeup was elegant but not too heavy.

The hair and makeup team had left soon after they finished. They were very entertaining as they spent their time laughing about certain memories and discussing all of their latest relationship drama. I watched them, craving for that to be me.

I felt like I deserved to have good memories that I could laugh about. When was it going to be my turn to discuss my relationship drama without fear of getting punished for it?

Now, here I was, staring at myself in the mirror. I was twirling my wedding ring on my finger as I looked at myself in the beautiful white gown. It was tight everywhere above my hips, but as the dress went farther down my body, the looser it was. Crystals were scattered all over the dress, shining so brightly as if destiny herself was walking me on a path of happiness and happily ever after.

I looked really good, but as I looked into my own eyes, I could still see the dreams I had of exploring the world quickly vanishing. Even the bruises tainting my skin weren't too hard to find. I could still see everything that everyone tried so hard to hide.

"You look stunning," Charlotte said. She was actually a lot more fun than I thought. We talked for a bit about how I was feeling and she offered her most kindest words.

"Thank you." I smiled but without meaning it.

"There is a car waiting for you outside to take you to the wedding venue. It's going to be outside at this very nice place where the scenery is to die for! We only have about..." Charlotte trailed off as she looked at her watch. "30 minutes!"

She grabbed my wrist and almost dragged me to the car. I could only do my best to follow behind her, but the heels were no help. It was hard enough to walk in them, but even worse to run.

Just like she said, there was a car waiting around for us. I didn't recognize the driver seeing as he wore an all white suit. Riccardo's men always wore black suits with a gray tie. They never broke that rule.

I shrugged it off. Maybe they were allowed to wear whatever suit they wanted seeing as it was a special occasion.

As best as I could in the tight dress, I got into the back seat of the car. Not too soon after I did, Charlotte got in with me.

The driver hurriedly started up the car and we were off down the road.

-

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