Humans

Awkward First Dates

There was awkward silence between the two of us, I knew John was trying to look away, and I was fiddling with the table a little bit, knowing full well that I had a pout like a three year old on my face.
“I’m not that bad of company.” John pointed out with a laugh. I looked back up at him, forcing a small smile.
“I don’t want to sit while other people do my work for me.” I defended, which was true, but I also didn’t want to be in a room alone with the man I had tried, and failed, to kiss before.
“Was that an insult?” John asked.
“No sir.” I said quickly.
“You asked me what I had seen in the docks, do you want to know a little secret?” he asked. I looked at him quizzically, not knowing what he meant by that.
“Uh, sure?” I said with doubt.
“Come here.” John said, sounding excided as he got to his feet and walked to where the notebook lay on the bed. I knew he was sketching, but now I noticed a container of colored pencils along with it.
“So, you know how Greg said I fell asleep on the docks?” he asked as he flipped through the notebook. Yes of course you idiot, I was there. “Well, that night I woke up because I swear, someone touched my foot. When I looked around, no one was there, but I saw this, swimming to the bottom of the ocean.” He held up the notebook and I saw a drawing of a tail, my tail, blurred against the ocean. It was even colored, like a living bruise, but somehow, when John drew it, it looked majestic and beautiful.
“That’s one big fish.” I said stupidly. John smiled at me, a wild excitement in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.
“Not a fish, a mermaid!” he said excitedly. I looked at him, trying to strain my face to look surprised.
“Mermaid! How can you be sure?” I asked, but in my mind I was slapping him. Stupid humans often forget that we are not called mermaids, those were the females, and even though they were more social with the humans the species itself was called merpeople. Huge difference there and John thinks that he actually saw a mermaid.
“I swear, I know what I saw.”
“How do you know it was a mermaid, what about a merman?” I asked.
“Well I don’t know, I’m hoping it was a mermaid that would be,” he suddenly seemed to remember who he was talking to, “more, you know, stereotypical.” He said quickly. That little jerk hoped it was a mermaid because he wanted to have a mermaid girlfriend. My mind was practically screaming at him to realize that ‘mermaid’ was standing right in front of him.
“That’s amazing though, beautiful drawing by the way.” I added.
“I know it’s farfetched, but…”
“I believe you, really, I do.” I pointed out before he could start telling me that it was okay to not believe him.
“Have you ever seen one? I know that you come from an ocean town right?” he asked.
“Ya, Coral, but I haven’t seen a merperson before, I wish I had though.” I added. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“What else have you drawn in there?” I asked. John flipped through the pages, but all I could see was flashes of color and lines, nothing in particular.
“Oh nothing, just fish and stuff, trees, anything I can really.” He seemed apprehensive about showing me the drawings; he tucked the notebook away and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Wouldn’t it be amazing though, the fact that there are fish people at the bottom of the ocean?” he asked, his voice getting all dreamy. I nodded; it would be almost as amazing as me finding out about humans.
“I wonder if they think the same about us.” I guessed.
“What?” he looked up at me in confusion, and I must say he was adorable when he was confused.
“Well, if there are merpeople, they probably haven’t really seen humans before. What if they think we are just mythical creatures?” I pointed out. His confusion turned to a happy smile of agreement.
“That’s certainly a way of looking at it.” he decided. I nodded, suddenly searching desperately for a topic and hoping Greg would come back soon.
“So, does Greg know about this?” I asked.
“Greg laughs at me even if there isn’t anything to laugh about, how would you think mermaids would go over with him?” he asked with a laugh. Merpeople.
“Maybe it’s not the best idea after all.” I agreed. John nodded with a laugh, and I stood very awkwardly. I wondered if that kiss was bothering him like it was bothering me. Greg had said something about him being guilty and all, there might be a chance it was tapping annoyingly at his head. It was brilliant though, completely, terribly, brilliant, kissing him was beyond doubt the best thing that had ever happened to me in this miserable life I led. But its consequences were now showing up, this awkward silence that neither one us knew what to do about.
“Sherlock I’m sorry, about the other night.” John said very quietly. Immediately I felt like my face could provide enough heat for an entire house.
“It’s okay.” I said so fast that it was probably impossible to understand. I wanted to run away, once again it felt like my throat was closing and my chest was closing in on itself. My limbs went numb and it was as if I couldn’t stand anymore. I knew he was looking at me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, ever.
“But, just, don’t take it personally okay? I had a really bad night before and it was just, it wasn’t the right time.” He muttered, as if saying all that was helping him get all the feelings out. I nodded viciously, trying to get as far away from this topic as possible. “But I’m not saying there never will be one.” he added in a tone that sounded like a mix between terrified, hopeful, and confident. Suddenly my neck betrayed me, I looked up at him in shock, as if trying to figure out if he really just said that or not. John was looking at me, his hazel eyes gleaming, and of course he was glowing red, but there was a small, tiny glimpse of a smile on his face. And that was my hope, the hope that I knew would take me through the rest of these days, every time I felt like I was going to give up, or that all of this was too much, he said there might be a time when he’d be okay with another kiss. If there was anything to say my brain couldn’t process it, I felt partially paralyzed. John seemed to lose that spark of confidence, slipping back into awkwardness once more. Thankfully we were saved by Greg, who opened the door as if almost sent by god.
“I have ice cream!” he announced happily. He saw both of us, and he suddenly seemed to realize that he might be interrupting something. “I could always wait outside though.” He added.
“You’re fine Greg.” John assured, putting a smile back on his face as if changing masks. He walked past me to the table, where Greg had set three bowls piled with different colored ice cream and toppings, sticking spoons in them happily. I stood by the bed post though, watching the two but not doing anything to join them, John’s words warming my heart and soul.
“Come on Sherlock, it’ll melt if you don’t hurry up!” Greg pointed out, already attacking his. I wandered over as if in a daze, sitting where I had before and picking at the ice cream. I might be able to kiss John again, and this time he won’t avoid it, it was like Christmas but so much better. The ice cream was actually quite good, but I was far too busy to care. I could only imagine it, where, when, what would he be wearing, the look on his face when he was the one to lean in…
“Sherlock you look like you’ve killed someone.” Greg observed, scratching out my lala land.
“If you don’t shut up I will.” I pointed out. Greg rolled his eyes, but I went back to my food, trying to keep my mind off the glorious future. When all of us were done with our ice cream (although I didn’t finish mine) we said good night to John and carried them down to the kitchen, which was almost empty now. I could see through the window that it was dark out now, the moonlight making the hallways look pretty. When we got back to the room Greg closed the door with a big smile on his face.
“Okay, what happened?” he asked excitedly.
“You are an awful person that’s what! Why would you leave us alone like that, that was the worst thing you could possibly do, ever, that was the one thing I didn’t want to happen!”
“But he said something didn’t he?” he asked.
“Of course he did, he said something a lot of times actually!” I pointed out.
“What did he say?” Greg asked excitedly.
“Well, we were talking, about,” I thought of John saying that Greg would make fun of him about the merpeople, “stuff, and then he said he was sorry about the other night, and how it wasn’t personal and it just wasn’t the time. So of course I went all silent and scared, but then he added that, and I quote, that it didn’t mean there wouldn’t be a time.” I ended with a excided little squeak. I knew I sounded like an idiot, I always did most of the time, but this time it was real, there was chance in the air and yippee I wanted to take it.
“Maybe I should ‘accidently’ lock you two on the terrace again.” Greg decided. “So that means he’s willing to kiss you eventually right?”
“Yes!” I almost yelled.
“So just do it!” Greg insisted.
“Noooo, I can barely talk to him without wanting to run away!” I pointed out.
“Well it’s good that you don’t have to look at him or talk to him when you kiss then!” Greg exclaimed.
“You an all-around awful person.” I pointed out.
“Sherlock you are in love, admit it, and I don’t want to see you suffer!”
“I am only going to suffer more if I had to walk back in there.”
“How about tomorrow I can bring breakfast alone, say that I let you sleep in a little bit, and maybe ask about his feelings for you. Then we can know for sure.” Greg suggested.
“That would be so obvious that I asked you to.” I pointed out.
“No, but that’s the point. He needs to know that you’re trying to get in touch about it, he needs to know that you can’t wait to know the truth.” Greg said.
“So we basically want him to know that you’re a spy.”
“Yes.” Greg agreed.
“Oh this is going to be awful.” I decided.