The Shadow Wars

Ode to Memories Lost

Lost in my head,
but not what you think.
I'm not reclusive, shut-in, what you'd call a freak.

Lost in my head,
grasping at straws,
sketching a sad portrait of my life before.

Missing information,
holes in my head,
gaps of conversation that I once said.

Someone in my dreams,
woven in memories' reams,
keeps beckoning me in.
How am I supposed to recognize them in this awful din?

Sometimes it feels like I almost remember,
then it slips away like a dying ember.

You are here with a smile on your face,
pulling me from the darkness' embrace,
but part of my past pulls at my soul,
"remember me, remember me and what he stole."

I hesitate confused, bewildered, dazed,
What do the memories mean by "he"?
Am I supposed to remember some awful event?
O God please help me discover where my memories went!

I'm frustrated,
these memories are faded,
my mind has been tainted,
my thoughts have evaded me yet again.

Sitting here in silence now,
how much more sorrow can my heart allow?
I feel like I'm going mad,
I am definitely sad.

Perhaps sad doesn't cut it,
depressed is more fit,
night time is coming,
the silence is cutting
and I can't keep running.

This constant forgetfulness is wearing me out,
don't know how long I can fight off these doubts.
Perhaps one day I'll wake up a blank, empty page,
no memories, no life, my head a cage.

I'll leave it to you to pull me out of this well,
I'm getting too tired to battle this hell.
If one day I disappear into my head,
don't leave, please rescue me I am not dead.

Or before its too late, (preferably please), and this monster swallows me whole,
help me to remember, save my soul.

Don't

          let

                 me

                       disappear.