Feeling

here we go again

I'm  just 18 years old, I don't want waste my time to loving people that never loving me back, I want to take this change to see a word, to reach my dream, see my parents Happy of my success, and meet someone that deserves to have me, that always Accept all my flaws, and loving me back, also have a friend that always by my side, want to listening all my story, giving me big support when I feel down. It's that to high ? All I want just be a happy person.

Why it's really hard to be like that, also I'm try ever single day to be Patient but it's really hard, try to not angry, to control my Emotions.

Sometimes I just want Shout as loud as until the world and the sky hear that this girl is trying to fight the obstacles he is facing. But I'm still human Who can give up and surrender :(

When I feel sad or depressed, I put it all in my book writing everything that happens, everything I feel I write it all in here.

I used to want to end my own life because I thought I had no useless to living in this world, but one thing that a remember before the knife hit my Neck is Allah, I don't know why I remember Allah SWT, remember my sin, my parents, my friend, if I death, if I gone for Who will feed my cat, whether when I die you are all sad or happy. Totally if you guys happy it's really scary  for me. But the important is if I really gone....
      Who will take care of my family, who will make my friends happy more than my own happiness, who will love my cat, who will care about the little things that happen and Who will replace me? Will I be replaced ?

Did when I left I gave you the best memories or bad memories ?

That's what I think, But that was until I finally realized that sooner or later I will be replaced by time, even though time replaces me but the memories I make will be remembered by them The people that I love. That's why I don't want waste time for something that not useless for my life, I want spend all my time to make a great, and a happy memories the best memories for people that I love, for my family and for my self.

Now I understand the meaning of the word time is precious so use it as best as possible, because we don't know when our time stops ticking.

So start doing something useful, whether it's honing your talent, looking for experience out there, helping others. Do it before you run out of time, chase all your dreams!! Don't let you regret not starting or doing it now.

You can START it from now !!!
You still have a chance !!