Faking It - COMPLETED

Part 19: "You're ok. I've got you"

That Night

I walked back to the room after rehearsals by myself. Usually I walked with Sav but she had gone back early. It seemed like all day she'd been having a rough day which made no sense to me. I thought things between us were finally going good.

I got to the room and saw Jack unlocking the door across from us.

"Still not talking to you?" He asked me.

"Did she talk to ANY of us today?"

"You got a point. You sure she's ok?" He asked me.

"I honestly don't know. She never leaves early. She's usually the first one there and the last one to leave."

Just then, we heard some sort of crash come from my room.

"Good luck." Jack said, his eyes going wide and going into his room.

I unlocked my door quickly and walked in to see the room completely trashed. Every piece of furniture was pulled into the center of the room and everything that had been in the furniture and our suitcases was everywhere. The crash had been a lamp that had fallen off of the bedside table and Savannah was frantically trying to clean it up.

"Savannah what the hell is going on?" I asked putting my room key and stuff down and looking around at the room.

"I can't find it." She said, looking at me with tears down her face.

"Can't find what?" I asked her.

"MY SONG BOOK!" She said, panicking.

"Ok. Ok. It's ok. I'm sure it's here." I said, trying to calm her down as I walked all over the room looking too.

"And now I broke the fucking lamp." She said, trying to pick up the glass from the lamp.

"Sav, don't touch that. We'll call maintenance. It'll be fine. You're gonna hurt yourself." I leaned down and got her to drop the glass.

She continued to run around the room. "I NEED THAT BOOK ZACH!" She said, still tearing apart the room.

"Savannah we're gonna find it." I said, grabbing her hands and getting her to look at me.

"DON'T touch me!" She said, moving her hands quickly out of mine.

"Savannah, please you need to calm down." I said, trying to help her again.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" She snapped.

I stared at her and she looked at me. Then, just like that she broke down into tears on the ground.

I sat down on the floor next to her, but didn't touch her.

"Savannah. What's going on?" I asked her quietly.

"I don't know." She said between sobs, her face in her hands and her whole body shaking.

"I know you said not to but you need this." I said, pulling her in close to me. This time she didn't flinch. "Just talk to me please ok? I need to know what's going on. I can't help unless I know."

"It's everything..." she said, quietly.

"What's everything?" I said looking at her.

She looked at me through her own tears, "First, I'm stupid enough to get with someone who's as much of an asshole as Jason and then that fucks me up in my future relationships. I mean, why did you REALLY think I didn't wanna talk about last night because I know this is going somewhere and it fucking scares me. And then I lose the one thing the ONE THING that has my whole LIFE in it."

"Hey. Hey. It's ok. It's ok everything's ok." I said rubbing her back.

"It's not ok." She said, still crying.

"It is." I told her. "Look, first the song book is here. I know it's here. I saw it earlier today when I came back to the room to get my water bottle. It's in here. We just gotta find it. We'll get you to calm down and make sure you aren't pannicking and then we'll look for it together ok?"

She nodded at me.

"And as far as we go, yeah I wanted to talk about last night because I had a really good night with you because I'm so fucking crazy about you and have been since the supermarket but none of that matters if you aren't ready. But all you need to know is I'm not Jason and I'd never hurt you. Ever. I'd be so mad at myself if I did. But I get it. I get why that's made this so hard for you and I'm not gonna push you into anything you're not ready for."

"Thank you." She said burying her face in my shoulder.

I stroked the back of her head and her hair, "I'm not gonna hurt you. And I'm not gonna let anyone else hurt you. I'm here. It's ok."

I could tell she was still crying cause my shirt was getting damp, "It's ok. You're ok. I've got you."