Bleeding Out ▸ Teen Wolf (3) | Discontinued

xvi. DARKENED THOUGHTS

          She turned on her heel, hoping to catch Lydia and Allison and room with them. But before she could utter a word to either of them, a hand had circled around her wrist and began dragging her towards the sad excuse for a motel.

          Carson looked up, realizing it was Isaac who was pulling off towards the Glen Capri. Boyd was on his other side and neither one bother to explain as she stumbled in line next to them. Isaac was twirling the key around his finger, the plastic red tag displaying the number 108.

          "Can someone explain to me why you're dragging me off? Because usually when pretty girls get dragged off, it's into the woods so that someone can kill them and I don't really feel like dying at a seedy motel."

          "You're rooming with us," Isaac said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. There was a grin to his face and a skip to his step as he managed to keep a nonchalant tone.

          Carson stared at him wildly, unaware of how he could manage to act so calm after what had happened earlier on the bus. He had almost kissed her, for Christ's sake and yet, he wasn't freaking out as much as she was.

          Her brain had been pretty much sent into overdrive when he leaned in towards her lips and the entire system had come crashing down when she pulled away. It was all too much at once, a flood of adrenaline and desire having washed over her. And it was terrifying that in just a short few seconds, he could have altered everything between them with just one subtle swipe of his lips.

          And although she wanted it in that moment, she didn't know what she wanted when she tried to think rationally. She didn't know how she really felt about Isaac, didn't know if their friendship was worth sacrificing over one kiss. She didn't know how she could date someone who wasn't Stiles, didn't know if the risk of this going up in flames would be worth it. She didn't know.

          But she wished she did.

          She wished she'd grow some metaphorical balls and tell him that she wanted him to kiss her, because all her baser urges were telling her that she needed to feel Isaac Lahey's lips on hers. She wished she could just get over everything that had happened to her in under a month, kick Boyd out of the room the three were apparently sharing, and just freaking make out with Isaac. She wished she could just someone else.

          Anyone else would be better than who she was now.

          Because anyone else wouldn't be freaking out about the consequences. Anyone else wouldn't keep replaying the amount of pain they felt when their last boyfriend left them. But that was kind of hard for Carson to do. Because Stiles leaving her left a scar on her heart. And that scar was joined by many others, all of the other people who had left her, and ultimately, had broken her.

          Her issues with abandonment weren't always something that she liked to think about. So much so that she was slightly confused as to why she was doing it now. But it was like a tidal wave of emotion was attempting to crash over her, like she was a wall that which the sea could break against.

          And so she forced it down, all those immeasurably painful thoughts, especially the ones that hadn't even happened yet. Because when storms brew and crash against walls, something always cracks. And there were already so many cracks in the heart of Carson Bradley that she wasn't sure if she'd ever recover from any more.

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          Throwing herself back on one of the twin beds, Carson called out, "Dibs."

          Isaac rolled his eyes, setting his belongings down onto the adjoining beds, "What are you, five?"

          "Actually, I'm secretly three. Sorry for the disappointment," Carson called back sarcastically, before something caught her attention. Or rather, the lack of someone. "Where's Boyd?"