Silver Lining [WenZhou]

7. Another Sacrifice

Play Tian Ya Ke at the end of this chapter for a better experience-and more tears.

He had already lost count of how many bottles of wine he drank, yet there was nothing that could numb the pain in his heart. The burns on his legs felt like tingles compared to the burns on his soul. He shed another tear and lifted the bottle for a last sip only to realize that it was already empty. And he broke down again.

Staying here was hurting him, and he had just hit rock bottom. Not being remembered by Wen Kexing resembled torture; utter, pure, and cruel emotional torture.

Hope was slipping away from him slowly, slowly like Wen Kexing's hands had slipped down from his own seven years ago. He wanted to leave, leave back to the mountain, be cold and alone, away from this unintended pain; maybe an eternity of loneliness was the price for his mistakes... He blamed himself, this was all for himself and because of himself.

The weight was too heavy, the weight of the guilt, of his love not being remembered or returned, the weight of false hope and empty expectations. It was too heavy. The memories, they were too heavy for Zhou Zishu to carry them alone, they were too much, too many. He wished he'd forgotten too, maybe it would be easier if he'd forgotten too. He wished.

Wen Kexing was safe here, everybody loved him and cared for him, he was enjoying life as he should, leisurely and carefree. And with that, Zhou Zishu could love him from afar and his heart and mind could finally be at ease. He had found him, he had given him back his home, his life, his pride, his all.

Maybe Wen Kexing losing his memories was a worthy price, it made him forget all the desolation and suffering he had lived. Zhou Zishu thought it was a blessing; maybe it's better if he doesn't remember at all, maybe starting anew and living carefree is what Wen Kexing deserved as a reward to relieve the misery of his past.

His tears fell inside the empty wine bottle almost filling it up completely, he placed it back down and glanced at his hands soaked with tears. He brushed his fingers over his other palm and another once beautiful, now painful memory drifted on his wave of thoughts.

He traced his fingers over his palm few times until he subconsciously wrote, stroke by stroke, what Wen Kexing had once wrote on the same hand, in the same way. As long as your affection for me is as mine for you, I will not let it be in vain.

"Fool..." He whispered. "Wen Kexing, you fool..."

And suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Shifu?" Chengling called softly, "Can I come in?" He knocked again and when Zhou Zishu didn't answer, he directly came in. "Shifu..."

"Which one of them sent you?" Zhou Zishu asked.

"I came by my own will." Chengling grimaced, "shifu, you shouldn't be like this."

"How should I be?"

"At least shishu remembered something, this is a positive thing."

"Chengling, there are some things that I haven't told you." He took a deep breath and prepared himself for any reaction yet to come, "your shishu is like this because of me." And it was like a huge weight was lifted off his chest.

"What? That's impossible, you wouldn't harm him."

"He broke his meridians, his hair turned white, lost his memories, and lived in loneliness and poverty, humiliated and insulted, for more than seven years." Zhou Zishu spilled everything without pause, "that's the cost he had to pay for healing me." He confessed with tears, tears he never showed Chengling, "and I am unworthy of his sacrifice."

"Is that why he never came with you to see me? Because he wasn't with you in the first place?" Chengling analyzed, a bit offended by Zhou Zishu's long-term lie, "Shifu... you lied to me all these years?" He looked down, "and I thought shishu didn't want to see me..."