5. The Heart Remains

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Wen Kexing lacked memories, not intelligence.

Although Wen Kexing believed Zhou Zishu when he verified to him- with proof- that his real name was indeed Wen Kexing and that he was his shidi, Wen Kexing still believed that he didn't receive the full story. And every time he asked Zhou Zishu about the events of that day, he would say that it was an accident; that they practiced the wrong scroll or made a mistake, which caused his hair to turn white and memories to be lost. However, Wen Kexing wasn't convinced. Zhou Zishu's details of that day changed every time he asked him to repeat them, and his full story had too many plot holes to be reality.

Besides the incomplete story, Zhou Zishu had sworn to take revenge on those who kidnapped and harmed Wen Kexing. But that's not what intrigued Wen Kexing the most, he was rather concerned about Zhou Zishu's unusual, strange, and unparalleled tenderness and badly hidden signs of affection. He would brush his hair, fix his clothes, touch his face, warm his hands, and tuck him in every night.

Wen Kexing's suspicion boiled over the pot once again, but it was not the bad type of suspicion; well, it was more like curiosity and interest. He had seen many sworn brothers and disciples of same sects in his long years of observing people on the streets, yet he never saw any of them treat the other like Zhou Zishu treated him.

These few weeks with Zhou Zishu felt different, different in a way he could never fathom or explain. There were few times when he would catch Zhou Zishu gazing into his eyes, or just smiling at him from afar, or just touching his hands while he slept. His eyes, his smile, his touch; everything felt familiar, yet he still could not remember anything about Zhou Zishu or himself. Maybe he was over-thinking it, or maybe it was his own delusion; but there was one thing that he had to admit, solely to himself...

He fancied Zhou Zishu. He fancied him in a way that he thought Zhou Zishu might never accept.

"Shixiong." Wen Kexing called Zhou Zishu with this form of address for the first time as he joined him for wine.

"Shidi." Zhou Zishu smiled at him. "Are you feeling well?"

"Yes. Thank you for taking care of me." The passing out sessions had completely stopped, Wen Kexing had no memory gaps in the past few weeks, his body has recovered from the last spasm and he could finally stroll outside without anyone steadying him. He had thanked Zhou Zishu countless times for his kindness and compassion even though he knew that Zhou Zishu saw him as one of his own, as family maybe? But Wen Kexing still considered himself a burden.

"I missed having a drinking companion." Zhou Zishu poured Wen Kexing a cup, "we used to drink together all the time."

Wen Kexing felt guilty whenever Zhou Zishu said he 'missed' doing something with him. He felt guilty because he couldn't remember any of what Zhou Zishu missed and yearned for. He simply smiled and fixed his robes, sitting down across from Zhou Zishu. "After having a bottle of wine among the flowers," He recited, "you would no longer feel lonely." (Chinese lit.: having someone to drink with will make you feel less lonely)

Zhou Zishu huffed playfully at the pretentious recitation of literature, "I remember you've said that once in the past, just before you invited me for wine." He laughed and gulped some wine.

Wen Kexing blinked away the guilt, fixing his gaze back on Zhou Zishu, "The moon is beautiful tonight." But he wasn't looking at the moon.

His eyes captured every feature of Zhou Zishu's beautiful face, he stared and continued to stare, trying hard to persuade himself into abandoning the new emotions tossing and turning inside of him.

Zhou Zishu finally noticed Wen Kexing's direct, unwavering gaze, "Lao Wen..." He blushed and shifted slightly.

"Shixiong..." Wen Kexing didn't divert his eyes, "have you ever had a soulmate?"

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