The Secret Life of Love

Heartbreak is Nameless

You're going to break a heart one day and no one tells you that about love.

I've even said and even preludes to, "Protect yourself, protect your heart, be careful, don't get hurt," it in the last chapters but no one teaches you how to deal with the pain you will one day cause. That's right, you will cause pain to someone else. You.

These are people- and one day will be you- who are courageous enough to fill a role they never wanted to play or even never thought they would end up in this particular situation playing the villain.

You are a good person and never once saw yourself as a villain towards someone else. Here you are, the villain in someone's eyes. No one signs up to get their heart broken but the sign-up sheet to break someone's heart is nameless. It is a difficult idea to allow into anyone's head that you too never saw it coming, you looked the other way and keep marching forward.

You said, "I love you" and you meant it and still do. Then you follow those words up with some more words that will break someone heart. Your love forever with that person is shady. Nothing is more crushing than someone saying they don't.

So you say, "I love you" again and again, because "I love you" is easier to say - for whatever reason - than "I can't love you anymore." You are afraid of being the bad guy so you do good for someone else over what is good for yourself. It is time to go but you stay because you do not want to miss them. You stay because it is easier.

You will have to go while it is voluntary because soon you will be forced out by more aggressive terms. One day, you are going to be on the receiving end of pain. You will never forget what it feels like, and after you can not feel anymore evidence of it, it will remain like a bad tattoo. The funny thing is you are going to distribute the same type of pain or same amount to someone else.

Imagine that?

In your right senses, you would never wish such a thing on anyone else, but when you're in love, oh no, all bets are off! Remember when I said when you are in love it's like being on morpheme? This is the morpheme kicking in. You have to go into the relationship with no fear of losing. It is not that forever isn't a reality, it is that never is also a reality. That is one difficult concept to accept.

The day you decided to be with this person is the day you said you would be willing to accept either outcome. This is going to hurt you, but you were the heart breaker. This was your fault. No one feels sorry for you.

I am not saying you broke someone's heart and you deserve this because this is payment. I am saying that we are at one point in our lives heart breakers. All of us. Even if we don't know it yet. If you decide to ever change your mind- ask the person whose heart you broke to come back into your life- do realize and understand that they trust you less than they did before.

They live in fear you will do what you did again, and this will frustrate you because as sure as you wanted to leave, you were even more sure when you asked to come back. So they take you, with reservation. Accept it.

You did not cheat, you did not lie, but you did break their heart with honesty, and for a long while, they will remain afraid of your truth surfacing again. They're afraid you will wake up one day and realize an astonishing fact that you don't know what you want. But deal with it all.

Understand in the wake of making someone feel bad, you are not necessarily a bad person. You can do this with class, you can do this with dignity, you can do this with respect, but above all else, remember, you can do this. It takes courage, it takes guts, and ironically, it takes heart. It is not easy to do the right thing when someone says you're wrong, but don't mistake right and wrong with fact and fiction.

Fact: You can't go on anymore. 

Fiction: You can keep going.

No one tells you for every heart you break, a piece of yours must be sacrificed as well, but therein lies the rub. You're going to break a heart one day and it feels no different than getting your own heart broken.