XAVIER

Chapter 21 - Déjà vu

Not being able to open my eyelids, I try to take in the sound. Where am I? What's that sound? It sounds as if I am somewhere near the sea. I can hear the roaring of the waves and chirping of birds. I can feel the weather change.

"Madalyne!" A very low deep voice whispers. I feel familiar fingers brushing my cheeks and upper arms. A pair of blue orbs meets mine when I abruptly open my lids. I notice over position; I am cooped up in his arms and my head lies on his shoulder. When did I get here?

"Where am I?" I observe my surroundings in haste only to see a different house. More like a roundhouse.

"We are in Essex..... Are you feeling alright?" Xavier moves my hair to the side, kissing my earlobe, sending shivers down my body.

"W-What happened?" My voice cracks through my dry tongue.

"You had a panic attack and went unconscious," I vaguely remember what happened before I passed out. I only recall being on the phone with Xavier and him saying something- Oh no!

I quickly get up from his warmth and stumble across the room, "I am fine, I just need some fresh air." I run out from the room downstairs when I notice Xavier's friends and Sarah, Chloe and Selena; all sitting in the room, which I assume is the living room, without saying a word.

"Mad! Are you okay?" Chloe rushing towards me with everyone jolting up. Within a second, Sarah and Selena rush and wrap their arms around me. I think Xavier disconnected the call to call one of my friends to check up on me.

"You scared us so badly! Mady!" Selena quivers as everyone looks at me.

"Are you alright? Here drink some water," Joseph passes a water bottle to me which I immediately drink.

"I am fine and I am sorry for freaking you all out. I just need some fresh air," Waiting no longer, I rush outside when the fresh cold breeze welcomes me; the languorous waves gently drench the sand on the shore. It has been a long time since I have been to a coast. I close my eyes, inhaling the chlorine smell of the earth. The serenity of the place makes me want to stay here forever.

"Madalyneeee!!!!" A loud scream echoes through the air as I see Atlas running towards me with someone behind him, who looks so similar to him. As Atlas was about to hug me, he meet the ground when I am pulled by a strong grip on my waist.

"Owaahh!" Atlas whines in pain as he holds up his legs and the blonde guy helps him to get up. I look behind me as Xavier's luscious eyes stare at me.

"Xavier! Why'd you do that? He got hurt!" I exclaim. I ask Atlas if he is okay to which he faintly mumbles 'yes' and his cheeks go red.

"If I hadn't pulled you, you would have gotten hurt, you're welcome," Xavier rolls his eyes when the blonde guy steps forward, offering a handshake which I gladly accepted.

"Hi, I am Theo; Xavier's older brother, nice to meet you," Theo winks at me when Xavier's grip tightens.

"Nice to meet you too. I am Madalyne," I smile at Theo when Xavier steps forward.

"And I thought being a father would change you but you are still the very same playboy!" Xavier growls and drags me away from them. Xavier holds my hand in his as we walk along the shore.

"How long was I out?" I ask him.

"Since yesterday night," My eyes widen and I left his hand to check his watch which says ten past four in the evening. It is not that sunny but the heat rises from the sand.

"Madalyne," Xavier sighs, "What the fuck happened last night? You cannot just have an attack out of nowhere. I must have said something that triggered yo-,"

"Xavier, please I don't want to talk about it, I just can't-," Xavier cups my face, his thumb caressing my cheeks.

"Well, what if I say something in the future and that triggers you. How the fuck am I supposed to know?" Xavier frowns.

"Well you don't!" I snap, "You are not supposed to know anything!"

Xavier nods with a furious expression as he steps backwards, pulling his hair, "Oh! You are right! We just slept together a few times and that's that! You are absolutely right Miss Colson!"

"Xavier..... I didn't mean that, you don't understand,"

"Then make me! Yes, you are the first person ever in my life I want to understand!" His words have taken me by surprise. His lips sealed tight and hands formed into a fist.

"Xavier........ I wish I could.......," I look down at my feet, "It is not easy for me to open because I have never done that, ever! How will I communicate when I don't know how to? Neither do you."

"Fine, you don't have to then," Xavier looks away. The distance between us is making me feel so cold and emotional. I never talked to anyone about my attacks; not even to my best friends.

"Xavier I-,"

"Forget about it; I am sorry for asking," With that he heads towards the house, leaving me here in the freezing breeze. I feel numb; even the ebbing waves understand my numbness as they quiver, dousing the shore.

...........................

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