(un)lucky

ten.

Amy's silence is too long. He can hear her thinking, mulling over his words ever so slowly before—

"So, you have a date?" She concludes.

"How is it a date? I just told you—she's a friend."

"Yeah, trust me I heard you. Friend. Person, that is not those three pests you hang around with. Two people that like each other going out? Sounds like a date to me."

"Please don't say things like that about my friends. You know how much it bothers me." He tells her. "And it isn't a date. Look, I really like her as a friend. She's so cool. She honestly blows my mind a lot. It's like when I'm with her I can be anything, I can do anything.  I'm sure you would like her too."

Amy snorts. "Yeah. Like the friends you have now? I doubt it.

Mamés pretends he doesn't hear her. He is not in the right mindset to doubt. Their friendship is a clump of wires that looks intricate but it isn't: a little tug and it's going to come apart or maybe it's so tightly wound and that tug would strangle him.

"I think I have to go. I need to start prepping for dinner."

"Hey, I'm sorry. Don't go. Let's talk about something else." Her voice is notably softer, kinder. And he feels his eyes well up

Eyes burning, he swallows the lump forming at the back of his throat and tries a smile that she can't see but knows it's there. "How's Bruce?"

The rest of the conversation sails on smooth territory. She whines about her boyfriend who she loves and is probably going to marry. And he talks about how gruelling football practice is. The closing credits to their phone call are in Chinese as always. She tells him she loves him and he tells her he loves her more. Which is true. It's not that he doubts her love. He is just confident in his. Mamés always loves more. It's just who he is.

♪     

Ana arrives at his house at 8 pm sharp and Mamés is beginning to have second thoughts. Not because he doesn't want to leave. Man, did he want to leave. He wants to burst out of this house, this town and explode out of his fucking skin. But, guilt and responsibility are anchors tied to his ankles, keeping him grounded.

Earlier when he tried to get Lulu to eat, she snapped at him and shoved him. Hard. Mamés doesn't remember what made him trip. Was it his own two feet or the shock? But, he remembers the descent. The horror crawling on Lulu's face and the pain that shot up from his spine as his back snapped on top of the side table. He blinked up at his mother and she blinked down at him, horror, surprise, and silence filled the room. He didn't know how long they stayed there staring at each other until the phone rang and the spell was broken. Lulu helped him up. Her hands were shaking so badly that he felt his body vibrate with it.

"I'm so sorry Mamés. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to push you so hard. It just felt like I was suffocating and you just wouldn't leave. Please go, Mamés. I want to be alone. I'll eat. I'll be fine when you get back, so please just leave." Then she walked to her room and locked the door. Mamés called Jun immediately in panic, the sensation of her trembling made him feel faint.

Jun's voice was a crashing calm, reassuring him, telling him to stop crying (he didn't even realise he was), telling him to go to his party, to have fun and be a kid.

And, when Mamés asked, "What about my mom? What about my mom?"

Jun said, "I am coming over, she won't be alone. I'll take care of her."

An hour has passed since then, Jun is inside his house and Ana is outside, and Mamés wants nothing more than to forget his problems. That's why he is currently sneaking out of his house. He opens the door only large enough that he could pass through before closing it swiftly behind him.