Riptide (a camren fic)

we're not that different at all

"I'm a bad person," Camila whispers.

She finally pulls her eyes away to meet Dinah's gaze. There's a soft, wistful look in her dark eyes that makes Camila swallow thickly. She senses the unspoken words. She senses the tragedy behind the frown pulling at her lips. Camila closes her eyes. Tries to brace herself. Like she used to do against the waves when they broke at shore.

She gets stuck on that image. Of being at the beach with her friends. She can see it almost as clear as day. She can practically smell the tangy scent of Lauren's sunblock. She can nearly hear the crash of the waves behind Normani's boombox. She can almost taste the lunch Ally would have inevitably packed.

"A bad thing has happened to you, but you're not a bad person, Mila. Far from it."

Tears spring behind her closed eyes, peeling through and falling across her face. She sniffles abruptly and wipes them away. When her eyes snap open, she sees Dinah watching her with a sympathetic smile.

It breaks and breaks, eating away at her, leaving her desperate to cling to her - to her best friend. Her hands clench at her side, forcing them to stay in place. Instead she lets her eyes linger, studying Dinah's features. Desperately drinking in the image before her.

It's always so strange to see Dinah look so sad. Unusual. Even in her sadness, Dinah always held light quality to her. A warmth, like an overcast day on the beach.

And yet, the eerie sense of foreboding creeps in.

"You're a very good person. The best person I know, actually," Dinah continues. "I know you don't believe me. Not now. But it's true. Even this dummy here sees it." She gestures down to Lauren's sleeping figure.

Camila swallows thickly.

"She'll forgive you," Dinah presses on. She sounds earnest, exuding the confidence that Camila missed so much. "If you let her."

Dinah nods her head at Lauren again. She was always so encouraging. Even back then, when Dinah suspected Camila harboring a crush. She'd always been so annoyingly supportive. Her own personal hype man.

And now, in this quiet, fragile moment, Dinah never disappoints.

Camila, however, is an expert in disappointment.

"I don't want her forgiveness,," she responds quietly. She opens her eyes, moving back to Lauren. "I've never deserved it."

Dinah shakes her head, but says nothing more. She doesn't have to because Camila hears her sleeping neighbor stir.

Lauren lets out a noise that sounds like a mix of a groan and sigh, finally rousing.

Camila shuffles awkwardly in place, trying not to look as if she had been staring for too long. She shifts her weight between her feet, waiting until she pushes herself into a sitting position.

Lauren brings a hand to her face and rubs her forehead. Green eyes flash wildly until landing on Camila. Lauren's gaze widens and she retracts in on herself, putting as much distance as possible between them.

Camila fights down the twinge of hurt at the action.

"You're awake," she states tentatively, breaking the silence.

It's awkward. There's a long, agonizing pause that lingers, and in that moment, all that goes through her head is the events that had transpired. Flashes and echoes, rattling through her skull like a persistent hangover.

Lauren blinks, slowly stretching out her legs and leaning as far back into the headboard as possible. Her eyes roam around the room, taking in her surroundings, before meeting Camila's stare again.