A Silence to Remember (manxman)

Chapter 9

I had no idea when we'd see each other again, unsure if I'd have the guts to show myself at this school again. I kissed him once before leaving.

As if my life couldn't get any worse, the pressure to go out with girls was at an all-time high. Even my dad said, "I'm afraid something's wrong with you." He raised an eyebrow, implying I wasn't normal because I didn't go out on dates with girls. I had an excuse for everything—the football game, work, school- anything to avoid going on dates.

Robbie tried to be a good friend, offering some advice.

"You gotta go out with a girl," he said. "People are starting to talk. I know it sucks, but unless you come clean..."

Come clean? He made me sound dirty.

"I'm not coming out," I said. "Not until I graduate."

"Well, when are you? Are you hoping you'll grow out of it?"

Yes.

I was stupid to think I'd grow out of being gay.

"I'm worried, man. I'll set you up with someone. You can pretend for a couple of days. It's not like you have to sleep with her."

The idea of sleeping with a girl repulsed me. "Fine," I sighed. "I'll go on a date."

Robbie set me up with Crystal Sawyer, a girl from his art class. Her shoulder-length dark hair framed her face, and her deep green eyes sparkled as she smiled. Too busy admiring other boys, I hardly noticed her in English class. According to Robbie, she had had a crush on me all year. Neither a cheerleader nor an athlete, I was surprised she'd like a boy like me.

I expected to go on a double date with Robbie and his new girlfriend, but that didn't happen. Robbie let me down, making me go on this date alone. I didn't even know how to act around girls.

But at least I got my parents off my back, and hopefully kids would stop gossiping about me.

To avoid talking, Crystal and I went to a movie on our first date. At the end of our date, she asked me if I'd like to go out again. I'd never consider her a girlfriend, but she was kind of cool. I agreed to go on a second date.

On our second date, I took her to the Museum of Fine Arts because we both loved art. If Josh lived closer, I bet he'd love the museum, too.

"I've never been out with a guy like you," she said. "I wish all guys were like you. You listen when I speak."

Because I hate talking.

By our third date, my stutter wasn't as bad, but I still let Crystal do most of the talking. So far, I'd gotten away with not kissing her, although I sensed she wanted me to kiss her. After our last date, she hesitated before entering her house. When I picked her up for our fourth date, I ran into her older, sexy, and beautiful brother in the driveway. On a warm day, he was shirtless, washing his car in the driveway. Man, he was hot. Something must have distracted him because he sprayed himself with the hose, making me laugh.

A sophomore at Penn State and home for the summer, Crystal's older brother was perhaps the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. His beauty took me by surprise. Crystal also had a younger brother who was somewhere in the house.

"You must be Dominick," the gorgeous man said, approaching me. My body burned, my cheeks hot.

"Uh... yeah..."

"I'm David," he said, shaking my hand. Our eyes were transfixed, lingering for an extra second or two. He had green eyes like his sister.

"Have a fight with the hose again?" Crystal asked, startling me. I thought she was still in the house.