DESIRE- h.moskowitz

Chapter 25

" why do you even fucking care Kenzie? What are you his girlfriend" he hissed

" no but what if I was huh? He'd be a better boyfriend then you ever were." I hissed back at him.

" why are you so mad at me!" He yelled getting up to come face to face with me.

" BECAUSE HAWK. Because it hurts. When you're near me it hurts, when you're away from me it hurts. Knowingly or unknowingly you have caused my heart more pain then anyone else has, and what I cannot understand is why it still beats for you." I stated feeling my eyes sting up with tears.

" so this is what this is about" he said coldly.

" no. You don't get to do that. You do not get to make me feel bad, this is about everything. Everything that you have done. From cheating on me all the way to picking a fight. You have caused more harm then good. You changed yourself to become more confident right? Then why the hell are you acting like such an ass. I hate to break it you but this is not how confident people act, and the truth is I miss you but I'll swallow poison before I ever admit it" I finished closing my eyes before tears started coming down my face.

" i didn't mean to hurt you." He said quietly.

" it doesn't matter hawk. It doesn't matter if you didn't mean to, you already did." I said

He stepped a little closer to me almost exactly face to face.

"I miss you" I said quietly.

He seemed to have realize he was getting closer to me. He took 3 steps back and averted his eyes to the ground.

" I don't have feelings for you" he stated slowly.

" look me in the eyes and tell me that cause you looked me in the eyes a little bit to long to not 'have any feelings fo me' ". I stated stepping closer, but he only stepped back.

" I hate you." I stated. He shot his head up and looked at me with disbelief

" what?" He asked

" I hate you. I hate you for giving up on me. I hate you for giving up on us. I hate you for hurting me. I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for not being there when I needed you the most. I hate you for you've done. I hate you for ruining everything we had. I hate you for making me trust you when you were just gonna break that trust. I hate you for making me love you so much. Mostly, I hate you for making me a fool because I still love you despite all you've put me through." I said quietly looking into his eyes.

" I'm sorry. For everything" he said still looking at me.

I wiped the tears away from my face and sighed" you fucked up. You know that you fucked up. You're sorry. I get it. Trust me,I get it. But you being sorry, won't change what you did. You being sorry, won't change the way I look at you now it won't change the way I feel about you now. Everyone has their limits. Their boundaries. Lines, that once you cross you can't cross back over. I had a line. You crossed it, and now you have to stay on the other side of it, away from me" I finished looking at him one more time before walking away.

I got into my car and laid my head on my steering wheel.

I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding in and started my car.

Once I got back to the apartment I spotted Johnny.

" hey! Johnny" I yelled at him to get his attention.

" one thing is teaching your students no mercy another one is letting them go pick a fight at a mall." I said before walking into our apartment.

I spotted Miguel on the couch eating and watching tv.

" where ma?" I asked

" bed. Hey are you okay? You look upset." He asked

" yeah I'm fine. What about you. Did you ask out that Tory girl." I asked

" No. not yet but soon" he said giving me a smile.

" I'm gonna go to bed." I said before kissing his forehead and heading to my room.

I threw myself onto my bed and sighed.

" Jesus hell what is this? A fucking karate war now?" I asked myself laughing.

I put my head onto my pillow and stared off into the distance.

What the hell am I going to do now?

A/N- hiii I know it's been awhile I'm so sorry!

I've been really busy with school and go white boy go.

But since school is out in two weeks I should be updating more often!

Once I am finished with this book I will put it on hold untill season four!

Have a good day my lovelies!

Please eat and drink today<3