RikuxSuzune fanfic

My Real Intention

HORIKITA POV

My last school year just began but I was already welcomed by a dilemma.

An unfamiliar man called me and made me choose over the whole student body, my dream and the future of my brother or the expulsion of Ayanokoji-kun.

All these casualties, only to retrieve a single person.

A lot of questions are needed to answer and I know I have to rack my brain right now and come up with a plan to save everyone. But my mind is in a mess. Not because of everything that happened but because of a single question that's occupying the majority of my brain right now.

Why did they lie to me?

My heart was aching so much just by asking that question to myself. 

I wouldn't be affected like this if I don't see them as someone important to me, but they are one of the few who I considered as friends. They are the one who I trusted the most.

Though I always knew that Ayanokoji-kun had been lying to me a lot due to him hiding his real identity, but confirming that he indeed lied to me and hearing it from someone else still hurts.

Maybe because I was working so hard for him to acknowledge me and to gain his trust but according to what happened today, I realized that he's still not trusting me......... after everything. 

No, I always knew it. I knew..... I just ..... couldn't accept it.

After our argument about the bounty exam, I thought to myself that I could wait as I'm still not worthy enough of his acknowledgement.

But, Ayanokoji-kun knew it all along how stupid I was for getting fooled by Utomiya-kun as he kept on giving clues to me about him. He must have thought how helpless I was after I told him that I believed Utomiya-kun won't ever betray me. Of course, Ayanokoji-kun won't trust me. I couldn't even get what he wanted to say.

That reminds me. Ryuen-kun once told me that Utomiya-kun has something after me back at the training camp. Even Ryuen-kun, who was from another class, noticed....... while there's me. 

How naive.

I was only sitting on my bed. I didn't even have the energy to change my clothes as my foolishness kept on crossing on my mind. 

How is it that I wasn't able to see through Utomiya-kun?

I laughed in my mind.

Funny. I really had to ask that to myself when I already knew the answer. 

Just like what Ayanokoji-kun told me, I thought and pretended that I already know them, but the truth is, I really don't. 

I thought that they were showing enough to me about them but they were actually hiding a lot. In fact, it was the idiot me who showed too much that they could already read me like a book.

My strengths, weaknesses, my background and my personality. How much information about me did Utomiya-kun acquire after less than a year of interacting with me?

I bet he gathered a considerable amount of information considering how he perfectly used it against me. After all, I was so stupid for revealing too much about myself. I was blinded by his abilities and help for reaching class A that I started trusting him.

Tsk. It was awfully familiar.

I was the same with Ayanokoji-kun. I hardly vent my anger towards him after knowing he manipulated me a couple of times and even without apologizing, I ended up forgiving him. Hmm, not really. 

I also didn't mind becoming his invisible cloak and continuously covering up for him in the class as long as I'll receive his cooperation.

They really used my greatest desire in reaching class A and took advantage of it.