Her Mother's Daughter - Hotchniss

chapter ten: when the party's over

"Don't you know I'm no good for you? / I've learned to lose you can't afford to / Tore my shirt to stop you bleeding / But nothing ever stops you leaving / Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own"

"Don't you know too much already? / I'll only hurt you if you let me / Call me friend, but keep me closer / And I'll call you when the party's over"

-

Bridget woke up, madly out of breath and gripped the sheets. "Hey, Bridget, Bridget, what's wrong? It's JJ, I'm right here, what's going on?" Tears streamed down Bridget's face and she saw her parents terrified behind JJ. They knew it was better to let JJ handle it alone, but it killed Emily all over again to see her daughter like this.

Eventually JJ calmed Bridget down and sat on the side of her bed. Bridget fiddled with the end of the gauze on her hand and ran her finger very lightly over the bruises and zip-tie burns on her wrists. "Mom, what actually happened that night?"

"We told you last night, he stabbed her and she was rushed to the hospital,"

"No, how did you make the decision?" Her intonation was not that of a question but a soft demand. "Justify this, please. 'If I am found alive and she is hurt or dead, and you did not do everything in your power to protect her, I will not hesitate...'" She couldn't finish. Emily was in agony that Bridget knew it by heart. "I don't want you to quit your job, but you...You left me instead."

Bridget tried to remain stone-faced through her mother's clear pain, and it was torturous. "I didn't want to. It was the safest thing. I'm back now...my job's taken so much from you, and I'm sorry—"

"Please don't apologize. I can't..." JJ put her hand on Bridget's leg. Bridget stared for a minute and her mother's voice rang in her head, something she said when Bridget was younger and she came back from assignment. Bridget was upset that her mother had been away for so long without so much as a phone call; she couldn't, for her safety and her family's, but Bridget was too young at the time to understand.

'If we feel big feelings and you have a safe person to talk to, like Mommy, you can always talk about them. I'll always listen.' Bridget started crying. "I'm so sorry..."

"Bridge, honey, you've nothing to be sorry for," Emily told her. Hotch was just watching this. Bridget felt the least animosity towards him, because even though he knew and didn't say a word, JJ had cared for Bridget, she'd held her in the middle of the night and opened her home when it all could have been avoided. Couldn't it?

"I'm not trying to upset you," cried Bridget. Emily tapped JJ on the shoulder, and JJ shared a look with her before getting up and letting Emily take her spot on her daughter's hospital bed.

"You're not upsetting me. Listen, this is a lot for anybody to handle. Whatever you feel is fine. You're allowed to be angry, or hurt, or scared, or upset, or happy. Just know I'm not going away like that ever again,"

"I sure fuckin' hope not..." she muttered. "Sorry. Sorry,"

"Oh, I think you've earned that one," said Hotch. The ladies all smiled at him.

"Anything that happens to me, you're in the loop. Can I ask you something?"

"Mm-hmm,"

"Was Grandma at my funeral?"

"We didn't tell her," Bridget said confidently. JJ was concerned, this was something Bridget had said in a fit of emotions, and insisted upon it. Elizabeth Prentiss was not to hear a word about this until after the fact. Truth be told, Elizabeth only pretended to care about her daughter, so she never so much as called and Bridget didn't fucking care.

Emily sighed in relief. "Oh, thank god." JJ was now the one relieved, as she was terribly worried Emily would be upset about this when she found out.

-

Bridget couldn't close her eyes without seeing his face, couldn't sit in silence without hearing his voice. 'Where is your mother? ... I know you're a liar, where is she?'

The idea of sleep appalled her, she got little after the first day of being hospitalized. She was allowed to go home relatively soon, thankfully, as none of her injuries were too severe.

On the day of her discharge, a nurse came in to check on the burns on her ribs, and Emily stared at Bridget with confusion. The nurse left, and Emily, who was the only one with her as JJ and Hotch had gone to their other kids for the morning, moved to the other side of the bed to see it.

"Mom, it's fine,"

"What did he do to you...?" she whispered, addressed to Bridget but said more to herself. "How did he do that?" She already knew.

"Fire poker type thing. It's not as bad as it looks." Emily pursed her lips and unbuttoned her shirt slightly, exposing her chest where Doyle had branded her with the same clover. Bridget looked down and bit her lip. "That must've hurt,"

"It used to," said Emily. "Bridge, you know I love you more than anything? And you did everything right. I'm so proud of you, honey." Bridget tried to smile, unable to conjure any emotion at all.