chapter 19: escape route (part 2)

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by anteat3r

by anteat3r

After what seemed like an eternity, I sat down for another quick break and looked up at the sky. The moon was low on the horizon, like a cat waiting to pounce at it's next meal. Night was creeping up on me.

I was beat, and I knew I should take a break before leaving again tomorrow. Luckily, there was a small cave to my right. I had to crawl to get inside of it, but it was worth it.

The inside was surprisingly spacious. I had gathered a bundle of sticks for a fire and put them into a small pile in front of me. Then, I grabbed my flint and steel and spent a minute trying to light it up. My cold, frigid fingers stumbled with the small parts. I eventually got it, though. I quickly lit the sticks on fire and grabbed my water. I doused my hand in the water and then grabbed a small piece of bread.

I started munching on the little bit of food I had, but looked down at my stomach.

Don't eat it, you can go longer without food.

You don't need to eat.

You're getting a lot of exercise, why ruin it with food?

Look at the fire.

Burn.

Voices started to echo inside of my head. I reached forward and touched the fire in a daze. The painful sensation that ran through my hand brought me back to reality, and I accidentally dropped my bread in the fire (not all of it, just the piece she was holding).

The voices flooded my head like waves in a storm. My happy thoughts were the boat, struggling to push against the fierce winds. But it was no use, for the boat was far too weak and the storm was far too harsh. The boat sank, leaving no remains but a memory for those who saw it's final moments. The storm feasted on the boat and used it as fuel, pushing stronger and harder.

BOOM! A large bolt of lightning struck the surface of land far away, to be followed by a loud clap of thunder afterwards. It mercilessly littered more fuel for the storm in it's path.

My head hurt, as if there was an actual storm happening inside of it. I was getting too overwhelmed about everything.

Did you really just leave your home?

Do you know how lucky you are?

There are people who have it worse than you.

Don't be so ungrateful.

Go back, you're fine.

I yelled at the top of my lungs, desperate to release all of my anger, but felt nothing. I remembered bringing a blade to use if I needed it, but I was tempted to feel the pain it could bring. I knew it wasn't healthy, none of what I did to myself was super healthy.

Constantly skipping meals and going days without eating. Looking into the mirror and insulting myself. Giving into the voices that managed to convince me that I had no worth. My body felt disgusting, and I hated it. I hated me.

The thoughts played on repeat and lulled me into an uncomfortable but much needed sleep, like a broken record playing a lullaby. I didn't even bother to wipe my tear stained cheeks.

I fell back, head first into the stone floor, and everything went dark.

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word count: 537

yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo suck it green boyyyyyyyy💚💚💚

posting all the parts at one time just because i can😎

( continued in next part )