Break Me, Fix Me, Repeat.

Chapter 8

Creeping into my math class, I took one look in Cameron's direction. He was laughing at something that someone said until he took one glance at me; the smile faded off of his face and he finally looked down at his hands.

I took that as him saying he didn't want to talk to me or even look at me. My reaction was to simply walk to my seat in the back, embarrassed and hopelessly ashamed of myself.

The entire 45 minutes flew by quickly with not even one look from Cameron and that scared me. I feel like I blew everything I had with him already, and I wasn't sure how I would approach him.

When we were dismissed, Cameron got up and walked out of the classroom quickly while I went slowly; I was dreading any kind of attention I would get for wearing the dress code pants. I took as long as I possibly could so the hallway traffic would die down and I could save myself from more embarrassment.

Getting tired of waiting and only waiting five extra minutes, I plunged into the hallway and quickly made my way to the office. After exchanging those ugly sweatpants for my shorts, I managed to walk home alone.

When I walked into my house, my mother was in the middle of her routine of fixing dinner for later. "Jewels?" she yelled at me.

"No, it's a burglar!" I replied back, my own dry humor causing me to giggle.

I approached into the kitchen, but didn't plan on staying for long.

"How was everything with Cam today?" She asked me and I felt my heart drop.

"Not well, he didn't even look at me or talk to me," I decided to let it all out, "and not to mention, I was humiliated by getting dress coded and everyone laughed at me."

"I'm sorry, hun," my mom said trying to comfort me.

Already making my way upstairs to my room, I was yelling, "NOW I'M JUST GOING TO GO SIT IN MY ROOM AND FIGURE OUT HOW TO APOLOGIZE TO CAMERON!"

I was hoping my mom would give me a clever idea or something to help me figure out my problem, but she ignored my bait, "Good Luck!" That was all she said.

I opened the book I was reading in the library earlier, but my thoughts were so jumbled up in my head that I couldn't even focus on my book. That was the first time and only Cameron has been the only one to be able to do that. Not even the thought of Grace's death could turn me away from a book; it was my escape, but I felt like World War III wouldn't end in my head until everything was right between me and Cameron.

Replaying what Lexi had said today, I reviewed everything carefully.

First of all, she somehow said that we needed to be alone. Maybe he didn't want us to be seen together in front of his classmates... or maybe he thought I would go off on him again.

How about I walk over to his house and talk to him.. What's the worst that could happen anyways? He's going to slam the door in my face when he realizes it was me and not the UPS? Of course it would hurt; rejection hurts, but I did the exact same thing to him yesterday.

After sitting in fetal position for almost an hour and repeatedly telling myself to grow some balls, I crawled out of bed, took a quick glance in the mirror and sprinted downstairs.

With every step I took on the hot concrete, I tried to picture what would happen in my head; what I could possibly say to him that would make him apologize and also make him forgive me as well.

Stopped in front of his big brown door, I took a deep breath and knocked on it twice.

I heard the lock turn and I was just about ready to run away, but at the same time I needed to get this over with.