Suffer

Lucid

Sleeping in the library was uneventful, not only was my sleep terrible I was discovered by the librarian expressed how much she hated always secretly catching me sleeping in here and yes she noticed everything and was getting pissed off now so she was letting off with a warning this time. I had to leave or she was sure to call the police on me for "trespassing" even though the library was public to everyone. She didn't show any sympathy when I pleaded that I had nowhere to go.

With a snarled she replied, "Go home, girl".

Nowhere else left to go I grabbed my stuff heading to school, a better chance of shelter than the streets. If I remember the school had a flat roof on the top of the building which has been locked during the cold seasons but it should be open by now since we were near the end of the school year, summer was approaching. I never did bother to go up there because it was where the "misbehaved" students usually hang out. The girlfriend/boyfriends go to make out and the vaper and smokers go. I was already labeled as "trouble" so I tried to distance myself from that crowd I didn't want to cause more trouble for myself.

It was still early in the morning nobody was up. It was just me on the street, I was alone, well maybe a couple of cars passed by. I just kept walking finally reach the school. I tried to find an entrance leading to the top of the roof. Sadly I didn't see or find anything that could help me find a way to the top of the roof. I needed to find another way in. I looked around trying to find somebody that could help me but it didn't take me long to finally give up. Honestly, I hadn't felt that lonely in years, nobody was there for me. I thought Artemis was my only real friend but I guess I was wrong. I thought I had a true friend may be the only friend I had was myself and would do me better to remember that. I spotted a few stairs to the top of the roof it was truly beautiful I could now see why a lot of students went up here. The roof was pretty high up I guess that's why it wasn't ideal for kids to be on top of the roof during cold seasons in case somebody were to slip and fall. To be honest I had thought once or twice about jumping off this building but I never did because I knew better. I wanted to die but I was too afraid. Too afraid to feel the pain, too afraid to know who I might hurt then again I didn't have anybody, nobody cared about me what else was I suppose to do? Cry?

I decided to lean against the wall at the entrance of the roof. I needed to rest I was exhausted if I ever wanted to make it through the day at school a few more hours of sleep will do me better that's what I plan to do as closed my eyes.

"I thought I would never see you here again".

"I was sick" I replied looking up to see the face of what I thought was Rose.

My vision was blurry my head was pounding. I was starving,  lightheaded, and dizzy. I stumbled over to try to get up to face her.

A distorted laugh surrounded my head.

"What...? What?" I repeated before covering my mouth as nausea took over me.

"You heard me stop attending school and leave".

Every word said I could barely make out a clear sentence. Every word said made my blood boil, worst of all it made me think of when Artemis yelled at me to leave. The pain was too great.

"I thought I would find you here. In fact, where is your brother? Haven't seen him in years" she snickered.

The words were mumbled, "brother, in years". What was she talking about? Why did she say she hadn't seen my brother in years? Was I missing something? Something didn't feel right.

"Years?" I mumbled.

"You still don't know? Before you arrive at the school I heard after the death of your parents you went into some type of shock mode and every teacher needed to know so they didn't trigger you into a shutdown shock mood of your body. Of course, rumors started spreading around when you started talking to yourself. The teachers told all of us in your class you created an imaginary brother".

"What?" I whispered covering my head.

"Your brother-".

"What about my brother?"

"Your brother died a long time ago. He with your parents. I'm not sure how much you remember but at some point, we used to be friends. When we were kids you were always inviting me to your house. I meant it was fun at some point but then you became weird. After the death of your mother, then father and brother  in a car crash you changed. Since your brother's death you have always been yelling in the middle of class and when we used to play until now about him hurting you. I felt bad for you for some times, I even tried to get you help but nothing ever help but I was told the best thing for you was to stop trying if your mind wanted to forget then you would but no one could help you expect yourself. I couldn't be your friend any longer ever since the time I caught him...."

"The time I caught him... caught him".

There was a long silence.

For the first time Rose was quiet. But the words she spoke I couldn't help but wonder why I couldn't remember all of these memories as if something was blocking my memory.

"What do you mean my brother has been dead?" I asked still confused and dizzy.

M-my brother, he's always at the house waiting for me. I see him at school almost everyday. What about Artemis I told him to take care of my brother. What rose told me does that mean... I've been hallucinating him? I've been not seeing correctly....?

"No! No! She was lying". I whispered to myself. I couldn't believe a word she was saying.

Standing up I stumbled. "You are lying! Stop lying to me yelled" I screamed at her.

"Why would I lie?" She stared at me.

"I mean what would I gain from lying?" She spoke to me again.

I stumbled around looking for somewhere to rest. I couldn't keep listening to this girl's lies. Walking to the edge of the building I took deep slow breaths. I was desperately trying to remember something. Fragments of memory flashed in my head making me shudder. I saw blood. I smelled a burning sensation of fire. It all made no sense.

"Rave?" I hadn't heard that nickname in a while. The last person to call me that was my mother.

"Raven snap out of it".

I yelled stop talking to me. Without realizing the persons tap me on the shoulder i quickly shift my body to face them. I couldn't see clearly. My head was spinning so much that I didn't realizing with all the force in my body I turned around and push that person over the edge. Without waiting to hear the sound of them hitting the ground I stumbled backward.

I woke up with a startle. I was back at the same spot were I fell asleep. I looked around nobody was near me. I didn't have much time before I heard the bell ring. I didn't feel good but I didn't have much of a choice, I needed to get to class.