Suffer

Depressed

"Raven... raven... raven wake up. Raven are you awake? Raven, Raven are you okay?" I heard a voice call out to me as I slowly woke up.

I was exhausted everything within me was strained. I didn't have the energy to lift my hands or any part of my body. I was worn out I didn't have the energy to do anything. I was so out of it I don't know what to do as I slowly turning my head towards him. Artemis stood there watching me.

"Are you okay?" he asked me again. 

I looked up at him. 

"Am I okay?" I repeated to him.

"Yes, are you okay? he now sighed he finally caught on that I was in no mood to answer this question. 

"Am I?" I repeated.

He just stared at me annoyed.

"Where am I?" I question him.

He kept on staring at me but he didn't give me an answer. He stood there silently. 

"The first question you ask me is where you were. Do you have any idea what I risk to get you here?" he questioned rubbing the temp of this forehead.

I was confused. I looked up at him. "What are you talking about? I didn't need your help" I said in a defeated tone.

"I don't know what you did for me but I don't care. I don't care that you saved your life because you didn't. I don't care that you somehow think we're friends. I don't know you. You don't know me so why do you care?" I yelled at him. 

"Reason I'm not sure if you believe me or not but I saw you running in the middle of the road" he answered me in a calm voice. 

"I'm not sure what you want from me," I said now in a calm but confuse voice.

"Seriously?" he yelled no longer in a calm voice.

"You ran right in the middle of traffic if I didn't pull you out of the way you would've been dead. Do you realize the extent of you almost ending your life?" he shouted. 

I stay silent. I didn't have any memory of running across the road. If I had truly done that it would have been better if the cars ran me over. I don't care. I don't have any purpose of living anymore. I was no longer allowed to return home. I had no friends or family. I was starving. I have no one there for me. But why?

"Why?" I question.

"Why what?" he questioned me back. 

"Why did you save me" I questioned.

"Why didn't you let the car kill me? It would've been easier for both of us if I was dead" I said in a deflated tone.

Artemis looked pissed. "Stop speaking like you're not important. All you should be saying is thank you" he replied to me.

"Thank you for what? For saving my life?" I laughed. "You didn't save my life. I don't know what you're talking about. You know what? It would have been simple to not save my life. I'm sick and tired of living. I don't care who knows. I don't care if I am mentally ill. I don't care. I don't care..." I repeated. 

"Now answer my damn question where am I?"

I heard as Artemis took in the deep sigh. 

"A group home. This is where I live at the time since I am not yet the age of twenty-five so I can't inherit any of my parent's money yet so it's this is the place I've been placed at the time. I share it with about five other people and no not the room just the house. You can stay in my room for now until you get better. When you get better you may return home" he told me. 

I looked around the room. The walls were gray there was no tapestry just one single bed, a small bookshelf but there was nothing that showed any signs of family members nor any friends. It was so sad nothing seem to bring any happiness to the room, not even the small curtain around the windows brought joy. It was depressing.

 I sighed before replying. "I'm not going back home I don't have a home" I whispered.

Tears rolled down my face. 

"You promised to help me. You said you were going to care of my brother. What did you do to him? All those times he's laid his hands on me but he had never kicked me from my own home. That was all I had of my mother" I started crying.

"Raven listen I did take care of him but when I went to check up on him apparently he had run away I'm sorry," he said sympathetically. 

"Stop saying sorry. I don't care. You made me lose the one thing that I had of my mother. She was the one important thing in my whole life. You made me lose it". The tears kept rolling down my face.

I watched as he moves in closer to me, placing an arm around my shoulder. I slapped his arm away. 

"Don't touch me" I whispered.

"Raven listen," he began as he moved again closer to me.

Annoyed I slapped him again.

"I said don't touch me" now yelled as large fat tears roll down my face. I balled up my fists as I started hitting him.

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" I screamed.

Five minutes after screaming and crying I stopped as I sniffed.

"W-why does the world seem to hate me" I stuttered.

"Why can't I be lucky for once why?" I asked myself. 

Realizing that he was still holding my arms Artemis let go. I dropped my balled fists as everything within me was giving up. The tears stopped I felt numb. At that moment I had never felt so lonely. I couldn't understand why my life was the way it was. I had lost all my reasons to live.