The Good Place; Eleanor and Tahani Reboot

Ignorance Is Bliss

"Chidi Anagonye, you are dead." said Michael in a quiet voice.
Chidi sat in the chair with a look of surprise. "Ha...ha...that's...uh..." he cleared his throat and squirmed a bit in his seat.
"But don't worry, you are in the Good Place." said Michael again.
"Is that so? And I'm assuming this is some kind of magical paradise land where I still have an anxiety-induced stomachache." said Chidi.
"Well, that shouldn't be possible. Hopefully once you settle in here things should get better." said Michael.

Michael opened the door of a two-story beach house near a waving ocean to reveal Jason sitting cross-legged on the floor, pretending to meditate.
"Meet Jianyu, your soulmate." he presented.
Chidi took one glance and shook his head. "Uh-uh. There's no way that's my soulmate. I don't swing that way, I guess you could say."
Jason opened one eye and gave him a shrug, closing it again.
"Well, you don't particularly have to be romantically involved, you see, it can be more of a close friendship. Jianyu isn't the best conversation starter, unfortunately. He's a Buddhist monk sworn to silence for the rest of his life."
Chidi raised his eyebrows at that idea. "Really? Well, I kinda like the sound of that."
Michael felt the corner of his mouth pull upwards, in minor excitement, but he wiped away his emotion and clasped his hands, "Great! Well...you two have fun, now."
The second Michael shut the door, Jason immediately stood in a panic, "Dude...you gotta help me out here!" he said in a hushed voice.
Chidi stared back and raised an eyebrow, turning behind him to make sure he was talking to him directly, "Whatever happened to the silent monk I was promised?" he said.
Jason bit his lip, nervously wringing his hands, "I...I'm not a monk. I'm not silent! I talk. I like talking. I'm...I'm just an EDM artist from Jacksonville." he explained, "Man, feels good to finally tell someone that." he sat down in relief.
Chidi stared back in surprise, "So...you don't belong here..." he said slowly.
"I don't know! I don't think so...maybe?" he answered.
"Did you do anything...redeemable in your life?" asked Chidi.
"Well, once I stole and sold my neighbor's motorcycle to buy some coke for my friend 'Pillboi'. Maybe that had something to do with it." he recalled.
"Definitely not." Chidi said.
"Whatever, maybe I don't belong here, but you can't tell that old guy! Apparently, the Bad Place is a load of 'shirt'!" he exclaimed.
"Shirt?" Chidi repeated.
"Oh, you can't cuss here either. Kinda sucks." Jason stated.
Chidi was still utterly confused, "So... you want to lie about who you really are for all eternity just so you can avoid well-deserved damnation?"
"Hey man! That's rude. I don't deserve to be tortured." Jason said defensively.
Chidi shrugged and raised his hands, "Sorry, that's just the consequences of your actions." he said.
Jason crossed his arms and licked his lips, forming them into a pout. He turned around and walked to his bed in the corner of the room and sat on it, facing the wall.
Chidi rolled his eyes, "And now, you're just moping like a child. Come on, man, I know you're better than that."
Jason looked back and then, his face lit up as if he had an idea.
"Wait, you're a teacher in 'ethnics', right?" he asked, excited.
"Ethics and moral philosophy, yes..." Chidi corrected.
"Since you know about being a good person, maybe you could teach me." he concluded.
Chidi crosses his arms, "Okay, well, first of all, morals can't just be "taught", they have to be believed, practiced and you can't just learn them like it's a middle school math lesson." he explained.
"No problem. I failed middle school math." Jason replies. "And every other subject, too."
Chidi sighed and rubbed his face, "How did you even get by in life? How did you die?" he asked in a frustrated tone.
"Uh...well...I don't really remember. Micheal told me I'm better off not knowing. Ignorance is bliss, he said. If I know anything, it's the meaning of that phrase, and I agree. Life is so much easier when you just ignore your problems!" he exclaimed.
"No, no, no. Okay, here's a lesson for you. Thomas Gray says 'No more; where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise. But rather: where ignorance is cowardice, it's brave to be wise..' You should not go through life ignoring everything hoping it will just go away." he pointed to a chair, "Sit down for a second."
"Okay. Does school happen now?" Jason asked.
"Sure, whatever. As I was saying, there is little proven knowledge that the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' actually comes up in ethical or self-prophesied philosophy. The only person who may have theorized about it was an ancient Chinese thinker Chuang Tzu. Basically, any good person with decent morals knows what's going on around them and takes it into account. If you know what everyone expects from you and you always tend to their needs, it's beneficial to everyone." he clapped his hands and nodded to signify he was done, "There is an introduction to your first lesson. Now, I can see the gears turning in your head, are you following at all?" he asked.
"Uh...kind of." Jason muttered, "Should I write this down?" he asked with a blank expression in his eyes.
Chidi sighed, "Maybe I'm in over my head. Jianyu, was it?"
"Jason," he corrected.
"Right, okay, are you willing to really focus in and learn to improve your way of living?" Chidi reinstated.
"Yeah, I mean, you're using hella weird words, but I get the basics. Just...be considerate. That was always my one big problem. I didn't think about how my actions affected others. Now, I know it can. I mean when I took my entire dance squad to a car dealership and accidentally scratched all the Toyotas with my dirtbike, we all got arrested with different sentences. But, I learned my lesson. Mostly because I had to use all the money I saved for dance group funds to pay for the damages." Jason told Chidi.
"Okay! Now you're getting somewhere. So, by you cohercing your friends to vandalize those cars, you were putting them in trouble and danger. You didn't consider how it could affect, say, the dealership and salespeople. Or, your friends, or even yourself. But, you learned. That's what is most important." Chidi said.
Jason smiled, "Wow, I feel like a better person already." he sighed, "Great work, Chidi." he stood up and walked towards the front door.
Chidi lifted a finger and opened his mouth to speak, but the door had already slammed shut.
Chidi sighed, "Guess we will continue this tomorrow."