by the sidelines • haechan

thirty four

I snarled at his remark, but the thought remained in my head. "Then why the jalapeno are you helping me? I'm pretty sure there's a logical explanation for it," I rebutted impatiently, my whole body turning to him as I awaited his answer.

"Does it really matter?" Donghyuck asked in a sigh, leaning back on his hands as if refusing to answer. This made me more sceptical.

"Why can't you just tell me? Is it that big a secret?" I pried further, and he finally showed a sign of resignation as he rolled his eyes. "It's not exactly a nice reason."

"I don't care, shoot ahead," I insisted without a second thought; anything to debunk my previous assumptions. He raised his eyebrows and sighed, "As you wish."

He then turned to look at me for a little too long that my insides started twirling, before he spoke again, "It was Coach Lee's decision, not mine."

His simple sentence wasn't enough to clear my doubts, in fact, it brought more confusion to me. "What do you mean? Coach Lee doesn't know-"

"Did you really think Coach Lee wouldn't know who you are? We live in Jeju, not on Mars," he retorted, rolling his eyes as I absorbed his words, realisation hitting the back of my head. If he knew it all this while, why did he treat me like he didn't? So that I wouldn't get unnecessary attention? Then another horrifying thought struck me. "Wait, that means-"

"Yes, he knew about the outcome of your match," Donghyuck cut me off, "But that's not what's important. He said you needed mental guidance after whatever happened and tasked me to help you for who knows what reason."

"Initially, I rejected it because it wouldn't benefit me," he rambled on, "But Coach Lee told me it could hone my coaching skills and all those stuff. I complied not because of that, but because I didn't want to get on his bad side or have him tell on me to my dad. I feel guilty for thinking that, but I couldn't take any chances." He turned to my dumbstruck face and smirked, "Satisfied? I told you it wasn't a good reason."

My mind was filled with conflicting thoughts on his story because, for all I know, he could be lying. But why would he go through such a hassle to come up with such a tale to bury some truth? Unless I could think of something better, this was ultimately the truth.

"So you went through all that just because you were told to?" I asked dubiously, starting to question his sincerity. If my point stands, he was just helping me for the sake of it, not because he pitied me, not because envied me. Did he put up with all those training... just for show?

"No."

Okay, that was a shocker.

I furrowed my eyebrows at his one-word answer, urging him to continue. He gave me a vague look, heaving out an exasperated sigh that instantly told me he was reluctant to say more. But eventually, he gave in.

"At first. Frankly speaking, I didn't like how you randomly appeared in our dojang and requested to join us, so I had no choice but to force myself to train with you when Coach Lee asked." He dragged his words with scorn and I couldn't help but roll my eyes; he made the hate quite obvious the moment I stepped foot in the gym, he didn't need to tell me again. "But you do know how to leave an impact on others."

I blinked twice as if that would make me understand his sentence. "Come again?"

"Gosh, do I really need to repeat myself..." he grumbled, "You left a great impact on me, okay? I threw away my ego for this," he snarled loudly while I grimaced with weird feelings. "Don't lie, you've been putting me down all summer."

"Yeah, I did," he confessed quickly, "But you didn't succumb to it when I thought you would, and that's... something to be proud of." He sounded like he swallowed the last syllable of each word, but I heard that compliment loud and clear. A smile grew on my face as I fought to hide it, forming something close to an impressed smile.