ari, be mine

vi

[ chapter 6 ]

september 10, 2020
8:00 p.m
manhattan, new york

- - - - -

I never released our song. It's been a little over a month since I last talked to Ariana, and I never released the song we worked on.

Save Your Tears.

I couldn't bring myself to. It just didn't feel right. We weren't on good terms. Why would I basically use her popularity for plays when we weren't even on a platonic talking basis.

I sure did keep it, though. It's been stuck in that USB, tucked at the bottom of one of my dressers for a while now.

I missed her. I can't lie.

But, every time I remember why exactly we're not talking, I still get angry. If it wasn't for her negative response to confrontation, I probably would be completely over it by now.

but i'm not.

I supported her silently, from a distance. She's been pretty silent lately unless it was about her previous album and her new Netflix movie, broadcasting one of her sweetener tour shows. I watched it. I was impressed, to say the least. Very well put together; just like her tour.

Oh! And her engagement to Dalton Gomez. Took me by surprise just as much as it did for the rest of the world. It saddened me that they were taking such a big step. But a part of me had a hunch it was all a stunt.

Let me explain.

When I basically "dropped" Ariana, the assumptions and rumors of her and I dating got worse. Predictably, it got to a point where at least one of us had to do something. Say something. Try to calm the internet down.

So, Ariana came out to the public about her and Dalton's months long relationship. People didn't believe it at first, thinking it was just a PR relationship to cover up her and I.

Then things got serious. Constant posts of each other. He even starred in her song with Justin Bieber, 'Stuck With You'.

Not even a week later, she posted a picture on Instagram of her engagement ring. The entire internet broke and people began to further believe in her relationship. Some were still skeptical, though.

And although her relationship with the realtor was indeed real, I still had a feeling the whole marriage thing is not.

I mean, who am I, though? None of that should concern me.

So I ignored it.

don't kill me
just help me run away
from everyone
i need a place to stay

where i can
cover up my face
don't cry
i am just a freak

I bob my head along to my band playing skillfully behind me.

i am just a freak

I danced along with one of my guitarists.