"Jungkook.."

He froze. Instantly. His name on her lips bringing him out of the magical sexual fog.

Their eyes met as he pulled his head up, his body hovering over hers, his muscles trembling with tension. While she imagined her expression was one of confusion, Jungkook's was one of horror. It was a look that made her want to crawl inside of herself.


It hurt like nothing she'd ever experienced before.


He scrambled off of her, pulling his boxers and jeans up and then pick up her skirt and give it to her to cover her somewhat. "Chaeyoung, we can't" he shook his head and practically jumped off the couch, grabbing his T-shirt and yanking it back on. She was feeling a mixture of things, confusion, hurt, sexual frustration, and so she was slow in sitting up.


"Please, Chaeyoung, get dressed" Jungkook said gruffly and it took everything within her not to flinch, not to cry.


As she pulled on her clothes with trembling hands Jungkook exhaled. "Chae, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." his voice was heavy with regret.


Chaeyoung didn't say anything, she just straightened her clothes and reached for her shoes, trying to hold herself together. She couldn't fall apart in front of him. She just couldn't.


"Chaeyoung?"


Finally she looked at him as she stood. He looked as heartbroken as she felt. It was a small kind of consolation.


"Chae, you're Jimin's sister. I can't... we can't..." he gestured helplessly to the couch before running a hand through his hair. She was Chaeyoung, Jimin's little sister. To Jungkook she would always be Jimin's little sister, and that meant she was off limits.


And that's when she realized something absolutely tragic. While she thought what was happening was something borne out of affection, attraction and love, to Jungkook what had almost happened was something borne out of lust.


Pain lodged itself in her throat and she knew she was five seconds from bursting into big, fat, hopeless tears. She spun away from him and rounded the couch, her long hair covering her face as she grabbed at her jacket, heading to the door.


"Chaeyoung," Jungkook called out in panic but she was already yanking his front door open. "Chaeyoung,"


"Fuck!" She heard him curse as she slammed the door shut behind her and bolted down the stairwell, knowing the lift might not arrive in time for her to make a quick escape. The tears were pouring down her cheeks as she raced down the stairs, trying to hold in the sobs that were ready to blow.


"Chaeyoung, please!" He was suddenly in the stairwell, his footsteps pounding hard behind her. She ran faster, ignoring his shouts for her to come back and talk to him.


By the time he exit the building she was already racing across the street toward a bus that was about to pull off. She got on it and the doors closed behind her. She didn't care where it was going as long as it took her far, far away from the biggest mistake she'd ever made.


*


Chaeyoung sobbed herself to sleep that night. The pain inside of her was real. It was genuine. It was raw. For a good eight hours she believed that not only had she been positive that Jeon Jungkook didn't love her the way that she loved him, she also believed that she'd ruined them and destroyed one of her favorite things in the whole world, her friendship with him.


She barely slept and woke up early to make herself tea, sitting in her big flat alone and puffy faced wearing mismatched socks on her feet. A pounding on the front door made her jump and sent hot tea over the rim of her mug and splashing onto her skin. She bit back a curse and placed the mug carefully on the table, scurrying out of the room and into the hall.


"Chaeyoung, open up!" Jungkook shouted through the thick wood. "Chaeyoung!"


She wanted to talk to him. She wanted to somehow fix things and rewind the clock, but she knew if she let him inside the flat he'd take one look at her face and realize that she, Park Chaeyoung, was completely and utterly in love with him and that last night had devastated her.


So she didn't open the door. She leaned against the wall in her hallway, listened as Jungkook pounded her door and called her name. She listened as her phone rang in her bedroom. She listened as Jungkook left a message on it. She listened as he walked away, until unconsciously drift off to sleep.


When she woke up she was curled up on the cold floor. She blinked, then she realized what had woken her up was her phone ringing. She got to her feet with a groan, her back and neck hurting from her awkward sleeping position, and she ran into her room to pick it up. According to the clock on her phone she'd been asleep for over two hours.


Her stomach flipped at the sight of the picture of Jungkook on her phone. She inhale in a deep breath and answered it.


"Chaeyoung, thank god" he breathed in relief and she could just imagine him tugging at his hair in anxiety "I came by earlier"


"I was sleeping. I had more wine last night so I was kind of ppassed out," she lied.


"Chae, I don't even know where to start. I'm so sorry. God, I'm so sorry."

"Jungkook-"

"I can't lose you, Chae. I can't believe I fucked up like this but you have to forgive me. I can't lose you."


When he said stuff like that it made it hard to hate him. Worse it made it harder to get over him. But she knew from now on that she really needed to try. "Jungkook, it's okay," she promised him softly. "It was a mistake. We got carried away in the moment. And I'm sorry for running out on you. I was just embarrassed, that's all." She heard his heartfelt sigh of relief and attempted to force the sting of tears out of her nose.


"Chae, you've nothing to be embarrassed about, okay."

"Okay."

"So..." his voice grew even quieter "We're good? We're still us?"


"We're still us," she managed, blinking back tears.


"I don't want there to be any awkwardness between us."


"There won't be. I won't let there be if you won't."


"Okay, sweetheart. Good. We'll just forget this. It didn't mean anything."


Chaeyoung choked back the pain. "Right. It didn't mean anything.." she said before they hung up the phone.




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