Poetry by Me

afterlife

My mom believes in heaven.

But the thought of a heaven scares me.

Imagine, walking around forever, never knowing when it will all be over cause it won't be.

But the thought of nothingness scares me more.

I don't want there to be nothing after I die. I don't want to surrounded in an everlasting darkness, screaming into the void but no sound escaping my mouth.

Don't get me wrong, its not like death scares me. Death is something that will happen.

Its what's after death that really scares me.

Too me, if you want to be in a place forever with fields and flowers and no sadness, you're crazy. Without sadness, how do you truly know what happiness is?

But if you believe that after death there is nothing, that its dark and cold and you're alone forever, I think you're a pessimist who never wants anything but to know what will be bad.

If you've ever seen the Lovely Bones, then you know the girl who died kinda floated. Well, that's what I want.

I want to be able to watch over the earth after I die so I can feel better about the society I lived in as the world just gets worse and worse.

But I also want there to be a place for me to roam and be free to feel and be happy and sad. I mean, sadness sucks, but if you like being happy, you gotta be sad first so you can say "hey, things do get better."

(I think its sorta sad that a person at my age is already thinking about what will happen after death. I should be thinking about relationships and high school, but of course my brain chooses to go to the dark stuff such as death and afterlife. Maybe I should major in philosophy.)