Love & Football

Chapter 23

:: Emma’s POV ::

“Oh my god, that smells awful.” I shielded my nose from the odor that permeated through the air, “What are you eating?”

“It’s a Caesar salad from Lloyd’s.” Tonya looked at me like I was crazy; Caesar salads were something we both ordered at least once a week, “What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t know. I think I’m getting sick.” I placed my hand on my stomach as if it was going to help the feeling of nausea disappear, “I have just been so nauseous lately.”

“Why don’t you go home? I can take care of things here.” As inviting as Tonya’s offer was, there was too much that had to be done at the boutique today. I couldn’t possibly leave.

“That’s okay. It’ll pass, it usually does.” I grabbed my water bottle from the small fridge that resided in our break area, “I have so much I need to get done anyways. I can’t leave.”

“How long have you been sick?” Tonya questioned, “Maybe you should make an appointment.”

“It’s been on and off for the last two weeks. Maybe a little less...” I shrugged as I tried to estimate the length of time this nausea has plagued me, “I’m not sure.”

“Two weeks?” Her eyes widened in surprise, “Have you at least called and asked the doctor what it might be? Maybe there’s something going around.”

I shook my head. I hated going to the doctor and I avoided anything that had to do with the doctor if I could. I always feared they’d give me news I didn’t want to hear. Call me paranoid but it seems like anyone that goes to the doctor for a routine checkup these days comes back with a life altering illness. I know, it sounds completely ridiculous.

“Have you looked up what it could be?” She questioned me once again and I shook my head.

“Oh Lord… I won’t call the doctor so now you’re going to consult with Dr. Google?” I laughed as Tonya reached for her phone that rested beside her on the table and proceeded to tap away at the screen.

“Yeah, I at least want to make sure my best friend isn’t dying of some foreign illness.” Tonya teased, “I don’t need to catch it either.”

“Might be too late for that.” I teased right back.

“Oh my God.” Tonya looked up from her phone, her eyes piercing through me, “Are you pregnant?”

Tonya’s words hit me like a ton of bricks. Pregnant? There was no way. JJ and I were always careful. Weren’t we? How could I possibly be pregnant? I can’t be pregnant. I refuse to believe it.

“Emma?” Tonya’s voice pulled me from my thoughts; I know I must’ve looked like I had seen a ghost, “Are you okay?”

“I can’t be pregnant.” I insisted as I placed my hand on my stomach, this time for a reason other than nausea, “I was pregnant before, I think I’d know.” I tried to convince myself that it was impossible to be in such a situation.

“Nausea, fatigue, food aversions…” Tonya’s voice grew bolder as the last two words left her mouth, “Oh my God. Emma… I think you’re pregnant.”

“How could this happen?” The question was meant to be rhetorical but of course Tonya wasn’t going to let it go unanswered.

“Well, I can tell you how it happened.” She laughed, “You and lover boy have a high sex drive. When you’re doing it like rabbits, these things are bound to happen.”

“Doing it like rabbits?” I furrowed my brows at her choice of words, “Really?”

“You need to take a test. If you’re not pregnant then you’re not pregnant.” Tonya shrugged her shoulders as if it were no big deal, “Wouldn’t you rather just rule it out?”

“I can’t go buy a test Tonya.” I ran my fingers through my long dark hair, “I really don’t want to risk anyone seeing me and the last thing I need is for JJ to find out from the Houston Chronicle that the Rite Aid clerk saw his girlfriend buying a pregnancy test.”

She laughed at my statement but she didn’t realize how true it may end up being if I walked into a drugstore right now. I was already unsure how an unexpected pregnancy would affect my relationship with JJ, the last thing I needed was to take the chance of things unraveling with the public eye on us. I dropped my head into my hands, rubbing my temples in hopes of relieving the pounding inside of my head right now.

“I’ll go buy you one.” Tonya offered, “No one will ever have to know.”

I nodded in agreeance and Tonya stood from her seat. She tossed her remaining salad in the garbage can and grabbed her purse from the table, once she walked out. I was left alone with my thoughts as silence took over the room. I knew I was going to beat myself up over all of this until I had a definite answer. How on earth was I going to tell JJ? I clutched the horseshoe pendant that hung from my neck and fought back the tears I knew were going to spill over my eyes at any moment. JJ was the best thing that had ever happened to me and Noah; I didn’t want anything to jeopardize the happy little family we had become. I mean yeah, I wanted to extend that family one day but when we were married and we were both ready.

Tonya returned after a somewhat lengthy absence, or maybe it only seemed so long due to the anxiety this situation was causing. She placed the white shopping bag on the table in front of me and took a seat.

“I will stay back here with you if you want.” She placed a hand on my back, “Michelle said she is okay out front, the shop isn’t too busy right now.”

I nodded as I took a deep breath and gabbed the bag off the table. This was the last thing I wanted to be doing. Memories came flooding back to me from the last time I was in this kind of situation. Granted I got my beautiful little boy from it all, but it was a situation I promised to never put myself in again. How could I have been so dumb? The only difference was I really really love JJ and I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him.

Once I had completed the test I set it on the counter and started the timer on my phone. The nausea was overtaking me once again and I wasn’t sure if it was this impending illness or if it was just the excessive amount of stress I was feeling in the moment. As each second went by I could feel my heart thumping in my chest, I was sure it was going to break free.

The timer sounded and I completely froze. This was the moment of truth. The lines on this test were going to symbolize so much more than pregnant or not pregnant, they had the potential to destroy my relationship and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. Actually, I know I’m not ready for that.

I reached out and lifted the white stick in my hand; this was the moment of truth…