Reciprocal Altruism || Snowbarry College AU

The Evolution of Grandma Kisses V

The next morning, Caitlin awoke with renewed energy and a determination to right her wrongs. That meant making up with the one and only Felicity Smoak.

Even though she called a million times and left thousands of voicemails, the blonde haired girl continued to ignore her. There was a wall between the two of them that Caitlin didn't realize she was building. Enough was enough; it was time to break down the barrier.

Making her way to a certain mansion, Caitlin couldn't stop the jittery nerves that took over. She stepped out of the vehicle and made her way to the door, holding a very large basket in her hands. Balancing the bulky gift with one arm, Caitlin used the other to ring the doorbell.

The door opened a few seconds later and Caitlin was greeted by the face of Oliver Queen. "Hi, Caitlin," he said, a welcoming smile on his face. "Felicity is downstairs. If she has an attitude at first, just ignore her. She really does miss you."

Grateful, Caitlin made her way inside and to the stairs. "Thanks, Oliver."

"Wait, Caitlin." Oliver's now hesitant voice made her stop in her steps and she knew what was coming. Turning around, she faced him cautiously. "How are you?" He asked.

"Fine." She cleared her throat. "Better."

"Have you told—"

"Uh, no. Not— not yet."

"Caitlin." Oliver pinched his nose and looked at her with firm eyes. "You promised."

"I will." Caitlin dug her fingers into the basket and almost broke through the plastic wrap. "I just haven't had time."

"It helps to talk about it, you know."

"I'm fine, Oliver," Caitlin retorted harshly. "I'm going to see Felicity now."

Oliver didn't argue and let the secretive girl join her best friend.

In the basement, Felicity was hard at work on the computers. Hearing the ruffling of Caitlin's friendship basket, she looked up and took in the sight of her best friend. "What are you doing here?" she asked with a twinge of annoyance.

Caitlin sighed as she put down the basket. "I tried to call you and talk to you, but you were doing all you can to ignore me, so I had to see you in person. Plus, I made you a Ramen basket." Caitlin pushed the large gift towards her as a sign of a peace offering.

Felicity took a packet from the collection and began to rip it open. Caitlin watched while she looked around for the microwave. "Does this mean you forgive me?"

"No," Felicity said forcefully, "It just means there's nothing to eat in this mansion except caviar and lobster and sometimes a girl just wants to overload on sodium."

"I'm sorry, Felicity," Caitlin said sincerely, "I'll do better! I just can't stand the thought of you being mad at me."

"Honestly, Caitlin, I was never really mad at you." Felicity said resignedly as she set the dried noodles down. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I just wanted you to tell me what was on your mind. I feel like I'm always telling you everything about my life and what's going on, from work to any problems with Oliver, which there aren't any more thanks to your advice, and I just want to be there for you, but I can't if you're not willing to tell me anything. I can't if you don't trust me."

"I do trust you!" Caitlin said forcefully. She didn't understand how her best friend did not know that she meant the world to her.

"Then why won't you tell me what's wrong? I know something is wrong so don't deny it. And I know that it's obviously about Barry. After every study date you have with him, you always come home with a dopey grin and then you always get sad. And-and even before Barry, there were nights you woke up screaming."

"It was just nightmares," Caitlin muttered.

"Nightmares that just started coming out of nowhere. Nightmares you won't talk about—"

"I've stopped having them!" Caitlin interrupted. She paused and took a breath. "They've stopped. I don't know I think it was just a phase. Maybe it was the stress, but after I've started studying with Barry, I've been sleeping fine. Great actually."

"Fine, then we won't talk about the nightmares. Can we talk about your problem with Barry?"

Caitlin mulled over what she was allowed to tell Felicity. "It's not about Barry," Caitlin finally admitted.

"Then what is it?"

"It's me, okay? It's me!" Caitlin felt a wave of emotion wash over her, "I'm insecure. I'm crazy. I'm neurotic. I'm jumping into this crazy commitment with Barry and I don't know if I can handle it anymore. I just spent all of yesterday being completely mean to Iris for no reason because... well, I don't really know why!" Caitlin released a crazy laugh. "I have a test in Stein's class coming soon and I don't know if I can handle it. I feel petrified every time I see Ronnie, like he's judging me for dating someone else. And Barry! He's great. Super funny and nice and we get along so well and I have so much fun with him and I feel like we're not on the same page and I am moving too fast for him and I think I'm getting feelings for him that I can't explain and I don't really want—"

Caitlin's eyes widened quickly as she took in the last few sentences she said. No way. No way, no way, no way. Caitlin certainly didn't feel that! Why did she say that? She just blurted it out, but it wasn't true! Was it? She couldn't breathe.

Why did she say she had feelings for Barry?