Longing •Bucky Barnes•

•Four•

Bucky was invasive, harsh and demanding at that. He was pushy and frankly he scared me, but not in the way he would think. His behavior and demeanor only made me worry what my future held. What if I did "get better" would I end up like him? Harsh and abrasive? Was that what I had to look forward to?

"They'll always be in my head Steve. There's no way I can just be free of them, you don't understand that it just doesn't work like that." I said frustratedly.

"You're right I don't understand." He said throwing his hands up. "But Bucky, Bucky does."

He tapped the counter next to me as he got up and left the room. I heard the door close and I exhaled to myself. I continued to eat and I ended up finishing the whole thing quite quickly once I was left alone. I washed my dish and set it in the sink.

I decided to try and entertain myself with the TV. I picked up the remote and slowly figured out how to turn it on. The news was the first thing that came on and I started to try and figure out how to change it, but a few worlds caught my attention.

"...Last weeks SHEILD raid on HYDRA's Munich base seems to have left HYDRA in retreat, or at least so we can hope. It is unclear exactly what SHEILD's motive was and what exactly was taken from the base, but Steve Rogers informed us in his public statement that they only took what was there's in the first place. This leads us to wonder exactly what, or even who they had retrieved. Authorities have given no information about what was taken, but many Theorize that this could mean the return of Agent-"

"I question your taste in television." Tony said pointing at the television with a different remote as it shut off.

"I was watching that." I said flatly.

"You shouldn't, TV actually makes your eyes worse, they've discovered that, actually I discovered that, but you know-"

"Munich." I said interrupting him. "Was that where I was?"

"Yes." He said with a sigh.

"How did you find me?" I asked in a careful tone.

"You were on a mission recently and one of the Avengers saw you. We were able to track them and you back to there." He said simply.

"Mission for what?" I asked.

"Val you have to understand that it's not-"

"You don't need to sugar coat for me Tony, I've been through worse." I said coldly.

"You were sent to try and kill some of the Wakandan forces." He said sounding frustrated.

"Who's that?" I asked warily not familiar with them.

"A tribe of people in Africa ruled by the Black Panther, its a lot to explain." He said siting on the couch across from me.

"Well did I?" I asked.

"Did you what?" He asked me.

"Kill them." I stated and he just lowered his head.

I knew his answer at that point. Nothing more but silence needed to fill the room between us. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes and I could see he was feeling some sort of emotion I clearly didn't understand.

"Have you ever considered that I'm too far gone to save?" I asked him and his eyes met my own.

"No I haven't." He said firmly. "And I won't."

"I don't know who you knew before, but the monster that HYDRA created has surely gotten rid of her." I said looking out of the window.

He rested his head into his own hands. I could see he was growing more and more frustrated, but I had only meant to be honest. It was nothing personal, because frankly I wasn't personal with anyone, no one but the thoughts in my head. I rose to my feet and walked out and over to the window.