A short, bittersweet story of friends turned lovers, turned strangers who find their way back together and attempt to get it right. AU: Jax, Tig, Juice, Kozik and Kip are still alive, otherwise basically follows the rest of the show.
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Eight:
I pulled into the parking lot and stared at the Sons of Anarchy clubhouse in front of me, holding my breath. He didn't want to see me, he'd made that perfectly clear between the avoidance of my phone calls, text messages, and me in general.
Happy had stopped hanging out at the diner he'd frequented when we'd been together. But I had to talk to him, was desperate to see him, and so I'd decided to go and face him. I hadn't set eyes on him or heard his voice in five weeks, and besides the turmoil that I was already facing, spending time away from him was like having withdrawals from heavy drugs.
I'd been to the clubhouse more times than I could count and gotten sucked into their family without a second thought. It had become my safe place. But standing outside of the door left me feeling vulnerable.
I didn't know if I was scared to see him, scared to talk to him, or scared to walk through the door and see one of the whores riding him in the middle of the room. It would kill me to see that more than his words already had.
Thankfully, Kozik walked out of the clubhouse before I opened the door, and he stood completely still just staring at me. "Jas? What's up, honey?"
My eyes stared at the door behind him while I waited for Happy to appear behind his best friend. "I need to talk to Hap."
He visibly winced at my statement and I felt pain in the bottom of my stomach while I worked myself up to hear him tell me that Happy didn't want to see me and to go home.
Instead, he laid his large hand on my bare shoulder and bent slightly in the knees so that we were the same height. His face was compassionate, and I could see the pain behind his eyes. "Jas ... honey, he's not here."
"Where is he? I can go and meet him-"
"Jas." Kozik cut me off. "He's not here. He's gone Nomad. He's gone."
I felt like the world had fallen apart around me, the floor had slipped from underneath my feet, but Kozik moved fast and held me before I could hit the pavement. "What?"
"He left the day after your fight, Jas." He was trying to be comforting, but I couldn't hear anything over the white noise buzzing in my ears. "I haven't heard from him. I'm so sorry."
I ripped myself from his grasp and wobbled slightly, but managed to get back to my car.
"I'm sorry, Jas!" He yelled. He hadn't bothered to follow me, I think he knew that I was desperate to get away from him and from the clubhouse. From everything.
"Not as sorry as I am." I whispered meakly, then got into the front seat of my car and started the engine.
