"That was weird, but I can't stop my heart beating ten times faster than it should be. Laying down on the bed I face away from the bathroom door not wanting him to look at me. I pull the white cover up to my nose and look at the wall. I hear the bat...
"I should probably head home. Thank you for letting me stay, it was really nice." she nods and sends me a smile. "It wasn't a problem. I need you," she looks at me while I try to contain my smile. I don't think she realizes what she just said. A few seconds after her eyes go wide and her cheeks turn red. "I- I- I mean I don't need you. NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. I mean I'm glad you were here with me because I needed you." She covers her face with her hands and I chuckle at her awkwardness. I pull her hands off of her face and hold on to them for as long as I can. "It's okay. I need you too."
We stay like that for a couple minutes. Me holding her hands. Her staring at me with a small smile on her face. I wish life was always this peaceful. She takes my problems away temporarily. She's like my own Advil. Taking away my headaches and pain. With a sigh I let go of her hands and started standing up from her bed, slipping on my shoes. She stands up as well putting on her Crocs.
Without saying a word she walks to the door and opens it. She waits outside in the hallway for me while I get my keys. We walk silently down the stairs, careful not to wake up her parents. Once we successfully get to the front door she steps outside with me and shuts the door quietly behind her.
"Don't avoid me again please." She tells me while looking down. When her pretty face looks back up at me I give her a confusing look. "Sometimes you just disappear. I would rather you not anymore, I could tell something was up last night but I didn't want to push you about it. Just know that from now on I'm here for you. No matter what." My heart melts at what she tells me.
At that moment I realize, I'm falling for her.
No. That doesn't justify how I actually feel.
I already fell.
Pulling her into a hug, her arms wrap around my torso while mine are around her back. My chin rests on her shoulder and I breath in her scent. "I promise I'll tell you when something is wrong. Okay?" I feel her nod against my chest. I push her back but still keep my arms around her. God, she's beautiful. I just can't get enough of her.
Clearing my throat, I let her go and fiddle with my keys. "I'll see you tomorrow at school V." I say as I run a hand through my hair. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow." She grins at me as she puts her hand onto the door handle. "Text me when you get home please." I nod and start to walk off to my truck. Once I'm situated and turn it on, I glance through the window and find Veronica waiting for me to leave. I send her a final wave and head home.
As I'm pulling up to the driveway I'm hoping Mari talks to me. I hope that argument doesn't change the way she sees me.
My parents brought up the idea of cleaning Marisela's room and I completely lost it. She's been gone for three years and no one has moved or even touched anything from her room. Just the thought of all her stuff being gone makes me sick. I started yelling at my parents not realizing the things I was saying. When I'm upset I don't think before I say. The argument consisted of "You don't care about her anymore" or "We just want to move on but not forget her." Now I understand why they thought it would be a good idea. But I'm not strong enough to cooperate with that.
Before stepping out of my truck, I send Veronica a quick text letting her know I'm home. I lock the truck and walk to the front door. Once I unlock it, I walk in to see Mom drinking her tea in the living room. She looks at me with sad eyes and my heart breaks. How could I yell at her like that. I enter the living room and give her a big hug.
"I'm sorry Mom," I kiss the top of her head. "I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I'm so sorry." She squeezes me back and takes a deep breath before pulling away. "It's okay baby. I know you didn't mean any of it. You're still hurt by the accident and that's fine, we won't go through with anything until you're ready." She grabs my hand and gently rubs it. My Mom has always been a kind hearted woman. She never means harm to anyone, so when Marisela passed it broke her heart into a million pieces.
"Is Mari awake? I have to talk to her."
"Yes she's up. She's just in her room playing with her toys."
I nod my head and start making my way towards the staircase. But before I start heading upstairs, I see my camera sitting on the table by the front door. I quickly grab it and head to Mariana's room. My mind is focused on Mari so I don't stop at Marisela's door. It takes everything in me to not stop. It's hard waking up, going to bed, walking downstairs knowing her room is just a few steps away from mine.
Shaking my head, I push those thoughts to the back of my mind. Mariana's door is closed which is very rare for her. She usually always keeps it open or slightly ajar because she always likes running out. I knock three times and open the door. My eyes soften at the sight in front of me. She lays in her bed with the teddy in her hands. She looks up at me and smiles a little. Well that's a good sign.
"Good morning Mari," I step into the room and take a seat next to her on the bed. "I missed you last night." She looks down at the teddy bear in her hands and then back at me. "Are you still mad?" My heart breaks at the thought of her thinking I'm still mad. "No I'm not. I wanted to say I'm sorry for yesterday. I know you don't like it when people are upset and I promise I won't be mad anymore okay?" I hold up my pinky since she highly believes pinky promises last. She wraps her little pinky around mine and smiles widely at me.
"It's okay Mateo. Mommy said you are sad." I nod at her comment and look down at the camera in my hands. I come up with a great idea that will change the subject and make us both feel better. "Hey why don't we have a photo shoot?" Once I say that she jumps out of bed and starts giggling. "Yes!" She exclaims and I laugh at her excitement.
"Okay, let's go find something to eat first and then we can go to the back yard and take pictures," I let her know and she started running towards the door. "Wait!" She stops in her tracks and turns around with a confused look. "Let me take a picture of you before we head downstairs." I hold the camera up as she poses with her teddy bear. I make sure that she is centered and focused. Once it's ready, I push down on the button and the flash illuminates the room for just a quick second. While I look down at the picture, Mari runs out of the room and calls Mom.
The picture turned out just the way I wanted. She's by the door wearing her light blue pajamas, her hair messy due to her waking up from sleeping, and lastly her smile just as bright as Marisela's used to be.
I stand up from the bed and make my way through the hallway. Stopping right in front of the door, that was my best friends room. She would know how to deal with all my problems. She knew what was right for me. If only there's a way for her to come back.
I need her.
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