All His Love....

Chapter - III

Next day came early, much to unwanted for Riyaanah.
When she woke up in the morning, she was uneasy, by the memory of her previous night. She felt like she did a sin. She betrayed, and wasn't pure anymore. She was unworthy of love, respect and care she received. There was an uneasy feeling in her heart, from the minute she opened her eyes.
She took her bath, taking more time to scrub her body and forget the touch of midnight's intruder. The more her soul would think that she was impure the more harsh way she would scrub. It was then only, she stopped as she heard her mother's voice from the garden to be down in 20 minutes or she would get late.
By the time she exited the bathroom in her white bathrobe, her skin had rashes all over her body. Their wasn't any pain she observed, but satisfaction from the work she did, that was, punishing herself for the betrayal she gave to her unknown and unwanted fiance.
She wore white full sleeve shirt, black pants and a grey cardigan, to cover her rashes. With the pink and off-white stole, she went for work. Never, meeting an eye of her near ones.
As it was her last day, she met with her head of department and after having proper conversation and receiving wishes from him and her colleagues, they were interested in knowing the reason that why was she resigning, but she only answered as to move from one city to the other and explore the different parts of her beloved nation. They knew that she liked her own space,therefore they didn't pushed her much. Then, she went for temple, to find forgiveness for her sin, she did last night.
As she climbed the last step of the temple, she felt her feet halting their and her toes curling. It felt like she wasn't worthy to even seek forgiveness and their was no courage in her to meet her father. She was standing like a statue and tears were at the bay of her eyelids, when the priest saw and called her in the temple.
" Riyaanah, beta puja nahi karni??? Aap kitne dinoo se nahi aayi yaha. App aashirvaad nahi lengi kya?? Aapki ma aaj aayi thi appki dadi aur baki sambandhiyon ke sath. Sunah hain shadi hone wali hai aapki. ", she went in listening to him. And nodded, giving a half-hearted smile, which didn't reached her eyes.
" Loo ye pani ka kalash aur mahadev ka abhishek kar lo. ", she took it, but was reluctant to do so. Hesitatingly, she sat beside Shiv ling and with shivering hands, started the abhishek.
Her eyes were shedding tears, which were not seen by the priest as her head was covered by her stole.

Om nahah shivaay(5)
Please maaf kar dena mujhe bhagwaan. Bohot, badi galti ho gayi. Aap jo bhi karenge aage sab accept kar lungi. Jo sazha deni hai de do, lekin please mujhe maaf kar do.

She had her head bent down and her tears were mixed with the water that was trickling down from Shiv ling. She stood up and did the half pradakshina and dipped her hand in the water coming out of the gaumukh, and touched her eyes, head and thorax below collar bone with that hand.
Later on, she took the hand-full of bhasma from Hawankund and tide it, in paper kept it in her handbag. She did tilak with that ash and then whipped her hands with her handkerchief.
She sat their for 5 seconds in the courtyard and then went to home leaving her worries.

I will accept what you will give me.

It was 8 p.m. when she reached home.
It was a soft atmosphere their, in the garden. Not refreshing, but soft like her mother was trying to soothe her from the worries she had.

I am sorry....
A tear escaped her eyes, whipping it she went in, to encounter few new faces seated in the living room. She was feeling uncomfortable, while looking at everyone who hasn't noticed her presence yet. She was feeling guilty that they were so happy in their comfort zone and if they came to knew about her deed, they would feel ashamed and disappointment from her and themselves.
Suddenly, the Hall was silent and all were smiling at her, the known and the unknown ones.
" Riyaanah, beta yaha ayiye. ", her dadi said.
She went their stood beside her dadi.
" They are your in laws, Riyaanah. Your Dadu's friend Ashraf, his wife Hamida. You father-in-law Tarik and his wife Razia. Say hello to them. "