Texting THE Avengers

Chapter 12- APOLOGIZE

So, you'd sue them and then what?

Tony

Ask for an apology

Emma

Hmmm 

Emma

 🤔

Bruce

I'm barely keeping it together here

Bucky

He doesn't seem to see it

Steve

Completely oblivious

Thor

I am ashamed to have called Tony my friend

Clint

I *wheeze* can't

Natasha

*raises knife to Tony's throat slowly*

Peter

What the hell kind of dumbassery is this?

Emma

So. Tony. What would you say you did to me?

Tony

I graced you with my presence by calling you mistakenly

Emma

By thinking I was who, exactly?

Tony

Domino's.

Emma

So... wouldn't you say I'm in the same predicament as your theoretical one?

Tony

No.

Emma

And how is that, exactly?

Tony

I GRACED you with my PRESENCE!

Emma

You KILLED me with your so called PRESENCE

Thor

How does one text when they're dead?

Tony

My presence is gracious

Sam

Just when we all thought Tony's ego couldn't get any bigger

Sam

He just proves his ego can always expand

Wanda

Can't say anyone's too happy about that.

Vision

Did you just insult my father, Wanda?

Tony

No no no no no!

Tony

I am NOT your father

Vision

You created me, yes?

Tony

I took PART in your creation

Vision

As does a father with his child.

Tony

How in the world are you my child?

Vision

I like to think of Thor as my mother, you as my father, and Bruce as the doctor who made sure I was healthy

Thor

How am I, a man, someone's mother?

Emma

GUYS! STOP!

Vision

Fine.

Tony

Gladly

Thor

I am still confused

Bruce

I'm mildly disgusted

Emma

Back to Tony apologizing, all right?

Tony

Why would I NEED to apologize?

Emma

You RUINED me!

Tony

How? How exactly did I ruin you?

Emma

You tarnished my soul

Thor

The Midgardian soul tarnisher is Tony?

Tony

What the hell is a soul tarnisher?

Thor

An ancient creature that feeds on small bits of children's souls

Emma

Well then, oh Soul Tarnisher Tony, you have done your job. Leave me at once.

Emma

Sometimes I don't know what to Fondue or Fondon't.

Steve

As Howard Stark once told me, "Fondue is just cheese and bread, my friend."

Emma

What about chocolate and strawberries?

Emma

Oh. That's not fondue, is it?

Tony

I...

Tony

I actually don't know.

Emma

Me neither.

Emma

Truce?

Tony

Sure

Emma

You just have to seal it with one thing.

Tony

What?

Tony

A kiss?

Emma

APOLOGIZE!