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violet

"I'm so fucked up," I said as I laughed hard with my eyes closed and my hand resting on my belly.

Being there with my best friends made me so happy. I loved every single one of them. However, my laugh didn't come from that happiness, simply from Michael's happy pills.

Michael was my oldest best friend. We did everything together since the distant years of recess. He was just an amazing and astounding person who deserved the world. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him.

Nothing.

Once I flashed my breasts to a professor just to take him out of detention, just like Kat in 10 Things I Hate About You.

We were together, sitting in a circle on the grass, in the middle of the woods. Michael was playing a weird game with Ashton where they hit each other's wrists. Nitwits. Skyler had her head resting on Calum's shoulder with a smile on her face. It was almost their three months anniversary. David was lying in the middle of the circle with his feet on Calum's lap. Serena just watched Michael and Ashton's game with a confused look, while I rested my head on Luke's lap.

"Michael, you are a God! Did you know that?" Calum laughed with me.

"I'm always a God when I buy drugs for you all, motherfuckers. Which reminds me," he said, whilst taking a bag of his jean jacket, "of this," he finished.

"Why did you bring oregano to the woods?" Serena asked confused yet smiling. I laughed with as much oxygen as possible, feeling Luke's hand on my belly.

"Are you serious?" Luke glanced at her.

"I cannot tell if you're stupid or if you're just so fucked up at that point," Michael trembled his head.

"Oh! It's not oregano," she said, lying down on the grass laughing.

"Who brought the nerdy good girl with us?" David joked.

"Shut up." She knocked him.

"I love you too." He got up and kissed her cheek.

When me and Michael got to high school, we met Serena and David. They were already dating that time, although Serena didn't have long hair and, well, boobs – she started the transition that year. We became a group that nobody liked because we were never quiet and we were always laughing. People thought we were annoying. However, we never cared about what others thought of us. That same year, Calum and Ashton joined our little cult (I'm kidding, I swear, we are not a cult). In junior year, we met Luke and Skyler – the twins.

We were, at the time, finishing senior year on that boring town. It was a safe town, and that's why we were in the woods at two in the morning. The only thing that we could find were horny and/or stoned teenagers. I kind of always hated that town, it was so washed up, like A Day to Remember said on All Signs Point to Lauderdale.

Michael rolled the joint and passed me the cancer stick for me to do the honors. I placed my hand on Luke's pants pocket and stole his black lighter. No word came out of his mouth, only watched me lighting it mindfully, as he constantly did – his blue eyes on mine, imagining what he could do to me. It didn't matter what he wanted or needed, I wouldn't say no.

"Wow, this one is powerful." I began coughing as I laughed, passing the joint to Luke.

"Just like us," Michael giggled with me, cheering.

"What are we going to do after high school?" Calum randomly asked.

"No, Calum, this is not the time to depressing, yeah?" Ashton rolled his eyes. "Let us just enjoy the joint."

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