Behind every mean girl...there's a tragedy

I hate family dinners

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "No I'm not." He looked at me guiltily for not being able to restore my teddy bear.

"If you're not a wizard then you can't do anything. Only a wizard can bring people back to life."

"My daddy is a wizard." I have no idea why he blurted that out. At his age, he probably didn't believe in those stuffs anymore.

"Really?" My sobs immediately stopped. "Can he please bring Mr. Pickle back?"

"Yeah, I'll ask him."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you." I jumped and hugged him.

I was so happy that his dad was going to bring Mr. Pickle back that I couldn't go to sleep. I drove my parents crazy that night, talking about wizards, magic wands, and zombies. At one point I began to scream that zombies were waiting under my bed to eat my brain. It was beyond past my bedtime when mom finally calmed me down and I fell asleep in their bed.

The next day, Brandon didn't come back with Mr. Pickle. I was heartbroken, my eyes began to water but he quickly pulled me to him.

I was still protesting when he told me, "No matter how great a wizard is, there are things in life that simply cannot be fixed once they are broken."

I had no idea what he was talking about so I cried harder. That night I held a funeral for Mr. Pickle in the backyard with my parents, Brandon, and his father. At the end of the funeral, while the adults went inside to talk about whatever grown-ups talk about, Brandon and I went to the treehouse. He was cracking jokes, trying desperately to make me laugh but my lips were sealed into a permanent frown.

"Why don't you smile, Rae?" He had asked me.

"Because I lost my friend so I'll never be able to smile again."

"But I'm your friend, too so why can't you smile for me?"

"Because I don't want to." I ran back inside the house and refused to play with him for an entire week before my boredom got the better of me.

That day he came back to me with a present wrapped up by an old red T-shirt with his sock as a bow.

He gave it to me without a word. I unraveled the packet with the quick pace of an over excited toddler on Christmas morning.

As I watched the animal closely, the first thing that stood out was the word smile, earning an ear-to-ear grin from me.

"That's Mr. Pickle's daughter, Ms. Pickle. He wanted you to have it so you can remember that no matter what there's always a reason to smile."

Beautiful words but that's all they were...simply empty beautiful words. My life's long fall down the drain began that very night when I heard my parents' furious fight.

This bear used to be a comfort to me but now it's just painful to look at, that's why I put it behind my closet with the rest of my forgotten souvenirs. But how did it get on my laptop in plain view?

A slight glow coming from the computer screen draws my attention away from the bear. I lift the screen up, the notepad page is open with a note taking up the entire page. Whoever typed it didn't want me to miss it at all.

"I'm sorry I ran away. I shouldn't have let you go through it alone. I'm back now to help you. "

My mouth splits into a huge grin at the thought of regaining my friendship with Brandon. I'm tired of my entourage of fake friends and selfishness even though the fakeness and selfishness is mainly on my part. I simply can't help it. I just hate everyone that came into my life when it started to turn around. It feels like they don't know me, just the font I put up to keep people from coming in too close. And that irritates me to know that no one really knows me.